Who you are, including your dreams, will not be more important to someone else as you will be to you. Yes, you are the only one who will have a vested interest in your life and in your dreams. Many times we want others to value us, we want them to consider us important to their lives and we want them to take an interest in our dreams.

However, not everyone is going to be for you so they won’t care about you and your dreams. Therefore it is up to you to value yourself, know who you are thus ending the need for others to be for you, to know you and to see you as important. Sometimes the only time someone will have a vested interest in you is when they are looking for their own gain. They are looking to use you for their purpose.
When you are not looking to use others and capitalize off their success you won’t even recognize when others are doing it to you. Once you figure out their game it may be too late. You have invested a lot of time and emotion in them. This is why it is important to have a high value on yourself so that you have a deep strength to fall back on once you have figured out their behaviour. Sadly, there are many individuals who use people and value things. They value their car, their job, their station in life, but they turn around and take people for granted. Because they are only in life for themselves, they never see how their behaviour affects those around them. They block themselves from having any feelings of empathy for others and they will leave a path of pain and destruction in their wake. And of course when they are unable to get anything more from you, when they are done with you, they won’t think twice about moving on.

Encountering those individuals in your life can take a lot out of you emotionally. Even if your life may not have prepared you for those individuals, there is a way to counteract their behaviour. Learn to value yourself and don’t wait on someone else to validate you. When you depend on others to validate you, you leave yourself open to their emotional state. If they are emotionally immature and you don’t value yourself, it is easy for their neurosis to enter your mind and leave you feeling so insecure and angry with yourself that you will beat up on yourself for giving them room to be in your life.

There are many spiritual guru’s, including myself, that will tell you that we attract who we are on a fundamental level. Although we are mirror images of each other that does not mean that a person’s behaviour should be acceptable in our lives. We all have emotional issues that originated in our childhood that came as a result of our early caretakers. Then we were conditioned and programmed socially. Then we grow up to be Adults. There are many individuals who continue to be who they were programmed and conditioned to be in their childhood. They never took the time to take a closer look at their lives and at themselves to see where they need to grow. To make matters worse if they are still living in the same environment that they grew up in they may have never seen the need to change. It may never have crossed their mind. Everyone around them is the same way and the need to change and the pressure to conform will make it difficult for them to grow. They may not realize that for them to grow they need to extricate themselves from the environment that is familiar. Many individuals are so afraid of walking away from the only people they have ever known that they decide to remain in that environment even if it is sucking the very life out of them.

Remember, no one likes change and if they see you changing and growing they will feel threatened. Their way of life, their way of thinking is being challenged. You are forcing them to take a look at their life and at their unhappiness. They may have been living that way forever and they have become comfortable with what it is. Now here you come along talking about growing, expanding and moving up. Of course they are going to try and stop your growth. They are going to criticize you, they are going to try and cut you down. They are going to blame others who they may think is influencing you. Misery does love company.

Becoming a leader, whether it’s leading others or leading ourselves, we need to be strong enough to go against the crowd. We need to be strong enough and believe in ourselves enough to stand alone. Not everyone is going to be for you. They may think that by you growing you are leaving them behind. That may be true, because if they are not growing you can’t afford to let them derail your growth. They may have been use to you being insecure, needy, clingy and unhappy and you may have needed them during that time. They may even think that is who you are, so your healing and growing threatens them because they no longer feel needed.

However, you need to value yourself and your growth even when others don’t. Your emotional and mental health is very important. You are not going to be able to help everyone, not even the ones you love. If they don’t want the help or they may resent it coming from you, there is nothing you can do for them, except keep sending them love and healing energies. Don’t allow those that don’t value you to prevent you from reaching out and being there for those who do truly need and value what you have to offer. But make sure you are helping others because you want to help them and not because you are looking for them to value or validate you. Value yourself first, strengthen your core self, it is then that you can be emotionally healthy and strong to be for others.


Author's Bio: 

Trudy-Ann Ewan is a Wholistic Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Author, who is passionate about helping individuals create their passionate life. Her goal is to motivate and empower individuals to become more powerful and passionate about their lives by falling in love with themselves, create a balanced and (W)holistic life by developing a better relationship with themselves without judgment. Sign up for the free Your Passionate Life Bi-Weekly Newsletter at: http://www.createyourpassion.com

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