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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Inner Feminine: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Reject Their Feminine Aspect? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperOne way of looking at someone’s development would be to say that at the beginning of their life, they only had a feminine aspect, and, as time passed, their masculine aspect was built on top of it. They were then not born with both aspects and this will be the case regardless of whether they are ...
Views: 472 - Inner Feminine: What Can Happen If A Man Is In Conflict With His Own Feminine Aspect? - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf the average man was told that he has an inner feminine, a big frown might appear on his face. After this, he could make it clear that this is not something that he possesses and that there is nothing feminine about him. He could even say that this is something that is airy-fairy and only ...
Views: 734 - Inner Guidance: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Look Outside For Answers? - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIt can be easy for someone to believe that they wouldn’t know anything if it wasn’t for their time in the education system. The information that they were fed during this time in their life would then have played a big part in who they are today. Taking this into account, it would have been ...
Views: 969 - Inner Insecurity: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Feel Deeply Insecure? - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone will be an interdependent human being, it doesn’t mean that they will feel like one. The main reason for this is that they could find it hard to be by themselves, with this being a time when they typically feel all at sea emotionally. If they are around another or others, ...
Views: 441 - Inner Security: Can Child Abuse Stop Someone From Developing Inner Security? - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat is clear is that if a house doesn’t have strong foundations, it probably won’t stay in place for very long. Or, if it does, it will be in for a rough ride as will the people who live in the house. Another example would be the difference between someone being on a rubber dinghy and being ...
Views: 516 - Inner Security: Can Early Deprivation Stop Someone From Developing Inner Security? - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for someone to feel all at sea internally or to be in a shut down state and unable to feel anything. Experiencing life in this way is likely to make it hard for them to appreciate their time on this planet. Due to how unstable they often feel, then, their need to feel ...
Views: 316 - Inner Security: Can Someone Be Consumed By Their Need To Feel Secure If They Experienced Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was able to take a step back and reflect on their life, what might soon stand out is that they spend a lot of time trying to settle themselves down. This is going to show that they find it hard to feel at ease. But, even if this is not something that they are aware of, what is ...
Views: 324 - Inner Strength: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Believe That Life Is Too Much To Handle? - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find is that they often end up being knocked down by life and feel helpless as a result. When this does take place, it could take a while for them to get back on their feet. This could be something that takes place on a regular basis. Due to how often it takes place, they ...
Views: 372 - Inner Voice: Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Listen To Their Inner Voice? - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere is something called an inner voice and this is available to each one of us. But although this is the case, it doesn’t mean that one is in tune with their inner voice or even knows that they have one. The Inner voice is not the only term that is used to describe this powerful guidance ...
Views: 1995 - Instant Gratification Culture: What Created It? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe term ‘instant gratification’ is widely known and widely used in today’s society. Having something tomorrow or having to wait any longer than now, is often far too long in today’s culture. Instant gratification can be observed throughout all ages and in numerous situations, it is not ...
Views: 7470 - Instant Gratification: Is Your Need For Instant Gratification Sabotaging Your Success? - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s world, people not only want to have something straight away, they are also encouraged to have this outlook. It would be easy to see these two aspects as being separate, but part of the reason why people have this outlook is because of the society they live in. When it comes to ...
Views: 1563 - Internet Dating: Can Internet Dating Make People Believe They Are More Attractive Than They Are? - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhile social media has allowed people to stay in touch with their ‘friends’ no matter where they are; internet dating has given them the ability to find someone no matter where they are. As a result of this, it is no longer necessary for one to go out in order to find someone to have a ...
Views: 1526 - Internet Dating: Should Someone Edit Their Pictures When They Use Internet Dating? - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one goes out at night with the intention of meeting someone, there is a strong chance that they will want to be at their best. There are then going to be a number of things that they can do. The first thing they are likely to do is to make sure they look right, and this will involve the ...
Views: 1381 - Internet Dating: Should Someone Objectify Their Body When They Use Internet Dating? - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one is attracted to someone in the real world, it can be due to a number of different factors. On one hand, how they look could play a part, and on the other hand, it could be the result of how one feels in their presence. There is also the chance that how one feels in the other ...
Views: 1403 - Interpretations: Do Our Interpretations Create Our Experience Of Life? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperOne can often watch a film with an ending that is unclear and come up with an interpretation that is completely different to another person. Or perhaps there is a cloud in the sky; one sees it to be a certain shape and another person sees another shape or cannot see this shape at all. Then ...
Views: 2028 - Interpretations: Do Our Interpretations Define How We Feel? - by Submitted on Jan 20, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that can be said about human beings is that we all want to feel good. This need is something that can enhance one’s life, and at the same time, it can also create problems. It can cause someone to grow and to evolve, and it can also cause them to stay stuck or to regress. For ...
Views: 1665 - Interviews With Successful People - Barry Phelan: British And European Tai Chi Champion - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperBarry teaches in Dover, Canterbury and Ramsgate. From september he will be teaching adult education classes in Canterbury and Ashford. Born in Windsor on August 9th 1970: Barry moved to Kent in 1980, he left school in 1987 and studied a City & Guilds in Engineering. He then worked as an ...
Views: 3050 - Interviews With Successful People - Daniel Kandi - Producer, DJ & Label Owner - by Submitted on May 22, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the first songs I heard from Daniel Kandi was ‘’Make Me Believe’’, and at the time of its release, I was blown away. Although this song is now over five years old, it is still one of my favourite songs. Since then, I have heard many other productions and remixes from Daniel. What ...
Views: 2373 - Interviews With Successful People - Darren Tate - International Record Producer and DJ - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the first dance songs I ever heard was 'It's My Turn' by Angelic. The artist, however, was a pseudonym for two people: Amanda O'Riordan (Judge Jules's wife) and someone I came to know as Darren Tate. Over the following years, I continued to hear many of Darren's songs, and these were ...
Views: 3122 - Interviews With Successful People - Emma Hewitt – Singer-songwriter And Trance Vocalist - by Submitted on May 22, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThe first song I listened to from Emma was her collaboration with Chris Lake ‘Carry Me Away’, and this was then followed by ‘Not Enough Time’ with Cosmic Gate and ‘Live Forever’ with Lange. And while I have listened to a lot of trance music, these are two songs that stand out. But even ...
Views: 3041 - Interviews With Successful People - Jack Magee - Lightweight Shock N Awe British Champion - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperLast year I heard about a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter known as Jack Magee that lived in the area and was intrigued to hear more about this man and his sport. Starting the column Interviews with successful people provided the perfect outlet for me to be able to make contact with Mr Magee and ...
Views: 2388 - Interviews With Successful People - Mark Simmons - Taekwondo Champion - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor many years, I have seen the dedication and the passion that Mark Simmons has towards taekwondo, I remember having a conversation with him many years ago and it became clear that this was someone who knew what he wanted to do and where he was going, there was a certainty about him. When I ...
Views: 2551 - Interviews With Successful People - Raphael Yadgaroff - Krav Maga Instructor - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperKrav Maga was something I had only heard about recently, when a friend of mine mentioned that he knew someone who taught it. My friend put me in touch with this guy, Raphael Yadgaroff, and we soon arranged a time to conduct an interview. One of the primary things that interests me about ...
Views: 2681 - Interviews With Successful People: Harry Gregson-Williams – Composer - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperI was watching a film called The Equalizer and soon after, I started to listen to the soundtrack. I had appreciated the music while I was watching the film, but it was only upon listening to the soundtrack that I felt truly touched by it. I began thinking about what it would be like to ...
Views: 2144 - Intimacy: Can A Man Be Out Of Touch With His Need For Intimacy He Had An Unavailable Mother? - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man were to take a step back and reflect on his life, what he could find is that he generally acts as though he doesn’t have the need to connect to a woman. As a result of this, a number of his needs are typically not going to be met. So, his need to be seen and heard by a woman, ...
Views: 273 - Intimacy: Can A Woman Be Drawn To Men Who Emotionally Withdraw If She Experienced Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2025 from Oliver JR CooperIf a woman is in a relationship, she may have found that the man that she is with has become less available as time has passed. So, during the early stages, he might have soon replied to her messages, called her, generally been available to meet, been affectionate and expressed his inner world, ...
Views: 144 - Intimacy: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Have A Fear Of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperIt has been said that human beings have a strong need to form deep and meaningful connections. These are then not the type of connections where only surface level things are spoken about and an emotional distance is kept. With this type of connection, someone will share what is taking place ...
Views: 831 - Intimacy: Can Childhood Trauma Set Someone Up To Have A Fear Of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperNowadays, it is not uncommon for the term ‘fear of intimacy’ to be thrown around. In general, it is more likely that someone will use this term to describe another person than to describe themselves. One reason for this is that it is usually easier for someone to spot this in other than it is ...
Views: 743 - Intimacy: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Deprive Themselves of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone may want to be in an intimate relationship, they might not feel that this is possible for them. The reason for this is that they might not have been able to get very close to another person. Or, if they have been in at least one relationship, this might have soon ended just ...
Views: 606 - Intimacy: Can Developmental Trauma Make It Hard For Someone To Show Up In A Relationship? - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, if they were to end up in a relationship, is that it is far harder than they expected it to be. There will then be what they thought it would be like and what their experience is actually like. Now, this is not to say that they won’t have had a relationship before, ...
Views: 721 - Intimacy: Can Embracing Our Pain Lead To Greater Levels Of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperHuman beings have an inherent need to share who they are with others; they need to be seen and heard. When this happens, one will share what is really taking place for them and not what they think someone wants to hear or what will make them look ‘right’. However, in order for someone to ...
Views: 1595 - Intimacy: Can It Take A Relationship For Someone To Realise They Are Emotionally Disconnected? - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperNow that someone is in a relationship, it could be crystal clear that it is hard for them to connect to how they feel. Up until this point, it might not have even occurred to them that this was the case. Or, if they were aware that this was a challenge for them, it might not have stood out in ...
Views: 651 - Intimacy: Can Someone Be Unaware Of Their Own Fear Of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone has the desire to be in an intimate relationship, they may find that it is only a matter of time before they meet the right person. Alternatively, they may find that they are only able to get so far. The months will then pass and this area of their life won’t change, causing them ...
Views: 1214 - Intimacy: Can Someone Have A Dysfunctional View Of Intimacy If They Experienced Childhood Trauma? - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to think about the relationships that they have been in, they may find that they have generally not been very nurturing or full of love. In most of their relationships, they may have experienced a lot of pain and might not have been long before they felt the need to cut their ties ...
Views: 299 - Intimacy: Can Someone Let Go Of Their Fear Of Intimacy By Changing Their Behaviour? - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperWhile there are some people who are able to experience intimacy, there are others who are unable to do so. As a result of this, it could be said that that their relationships are going to be extremely different. When it comes to the former, someone will be used to being with people who ...
Views: 1753 - Intimacy: Can Someone Pathologize Themselves If They Have A Fear Of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone has the need to experience both physical and emotional closeness with another, it doesn’t mean that they will feel comfortable fulfilling this need. This could be something that is only an issue when it comes to being in a romantic relationship. Then again, this could be ...
Views: 365 - Intimacy: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Fear Intimacy? - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhile human beings need to experience intimacy, it doesn’t mean that this always take place. In fact, one might be in a position where it is not part of their life and never has been. This means that some people are used to experiencing intimacy and this is ‘normal’, and others are not used ...
Views: 2888 - Intimacy: Can Trapped Grief Stop Someone From Being Able To Experience Intimacy? - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhile it is relatively easy for someone to share their body with another person, the same can’t be said about their heart. This means that although the need is there for someone to share how they feel with another person, it is not something that always feels comfortable. However, just ...
Views: 1734 - Intimacy: Do Some People's Childhoods Stop Them From Being Able To Experience Intimacy? - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperEven though one can have the need to experience intimacy, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to fulfil this need. As a result of this, this area of their life is not going to be the same as it will be for others. Normal This is not to say that they will be the only ones on the ...
Views: 1480 - Intimacy: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Fear Intimacy? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperJust because one has the need to experience something, it doesn’t always mean that this need will be fulfilled. And this is something that can be said when it comes to ones need to connect to another person. For some people, intimacy is going to be something that they have always ...
Views: 1846 - Intimacy: Does Someone Need To Feel Safe In Order To Experience Intimacy? - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperThere are a number of things that human beings need in order to survive, and the same could be said when it comes to their ability to thrive. For example, food is something that everyone on this planet needs. If someone doesn’t receive the food that they need, their time on this earth will ...
Views: 1336 - Intimacy: What Causes The Fear Of Intimacy? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIntimacy can mean different things to different people. It is a word that has numerous meanings and interpretations. The meaning I am going to be looking at here is closeness. Although closeness is usually experienced in relationships of the opposite sex, it can be experienced in any ...
Views: 6745 - Intimacy: Why Do Some People Open Up To People Who Will Shame Them? - by Submitted on Jul 20, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperWhile someone can be in a position where they are around people who they can open up to, there is also the chance that this is not the case. When one can relate to the former, it could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. Having said that, there is also the chance ...
Views: 1330 - Invalidation: The Abused Childs Greatest Pain - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperTo be validated as a child is highly important in creating a functional and psychologically healthy adult. When this validation is not received and a child is invalidated, it can lead to all kinds of problems If a child is abused in some way, one of the most important things, if not the most ...
Views: 2361 - Invisible Child: Can Someone Have A Fear Of Being Seen If They Were An ‘Invisible Child’? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone can be used to being physically seen by others, it doesn’t mean that they will feel seen. In general, they can feel as though they are not seen and even question if they exist. It could seem strange as to how they could be seen by others and at the same time, not feel seen. ...
Views: 289 - Invisible Child: What Can Happen If Someone Was An ‘Invisible Child’? - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperDuring someone’s early years, a time when they needed to be seen and heard in order to grow and develop in the right way, they might have largely been ignored. This would then have been a time when their basic needs might have typically been met but their emotional needs wouldn’t have. One or ...
Views: 288 - Invisible: Can Someone Feel Invisible If They Experienced Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on Feb 05, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone finds it hard to be seen and they were to share this, another person might find it hard to understand. They could say that they can see them, so there is no way that this could be an issue for them. However, being physically seen is unlikely to be the real issue; what they will ...
Views: 323 - Invisible: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Feel Invisible? - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperHaving the desire to be seen is part of being human and as human beings are interdependent, it is a vital part of not only being able to survive, but to thrive. If human beings were inherently independent, then it wouldn’t matter if they were seen by others or not. One’s ability to survive ...
Views: 1693 - Invisible: Why Do Some People Feel Invisible? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to feelings, there can often be a disparity between how one feels and how something actually is. And feeling invisible is the perfect example of this. Part of being human is to have a physical body and yet at an emotional level, one can feel that this is not the case. One can ...
Views: 16839 - Irrational Beliefs: Why Would Someone Have ‘Irrational Beliefs’? - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperAfter living a life that is anything but fulfilling for a number of years, someone could come to the conclusion that they need to do something about it. Perhaps something that they have seen on TV or read online has played a part in this. For quite some time, they might have got a sense that ...
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