Turning Lemons into Lemonade: or How to Return to a State of Sustainable Confidence

In January, I went on vacation with my wife and our two sons, who are 10 and 14. We had hoped to enjoy the warm, sunny, southern California weather, but as you may have seen in the news, it rained like CRAZY! Our activity plans had to be adjusted, but we decided as a family to wake up every day and, after a brief moan and groan about the forecast, we declared that we would have the best vacation ever.

Many good things followed. For example, we wouldn’t have ended up indoors at the Air and Space and Science Museums at Balboa Park if our Sea World visit didn’t get washed out, but we had a blast with the flight simulators, hands-on exhibits, larger-than-life optical illusions and interactive programs. And although we missed Shamu, we had a real sea animal show on a brief sunshiny morning in La Jolla: with the storms having caused the Pacific Ocean waves to be humongous, we counted over THIRTY wild seals and sea lions on a protected beach enjoying a rest from the overwhelming surf.

On a related subject, I heard a recording of a internet marketer telling the story of an infuriating infection of lice that his family suffered. Bad news, right? Well, using a photo of his shaved head for a touch of humor on a promotion he had been running, this guy TRIPPLED his response rate.

This is one of the most important skill sets when developing what I call “sustainable confidence.” Some people have asked me, “How can anyone be confident all the time?” My answer is that sustainable confidence is not necessarily constant all the time. It’s not about always knowing an immediate solution to the challenges that arise in your business and life. Because, as you are certainly aware, human beings just aren’t like that, nor should we be. When the going get’s rough, we should allow ourselves the humanity of our naturally emotional responses, even if some people might label those reactions as “negative.”

Sometimes, life throws you lemons. But confident people know how to reframe a situation when challenges arise. Sustainable confidence is about regaining your confidence quickly, by virtue of your faith in your abilities, your creativity and your resourcefulness, even when your confidence is shaken. Sustainable confidence is sustainable because it isn’t forced or stressed. You have to coax it out with a few thoughtful moments and some wisdom access questions:
So what about you? What’s a problem, challenge or setback you’ve been struggling with or complaining about? How can you embrace or reframe the situation to take lemons and make lemonade? How can you tap into your infinite creativity or resourcefulness to handle the challenge so you can look back at it in the future and consider it a blessing in disguise?

Keep me posted. I love good news. Or contact me if you’d like to take me up on a free sample session to figure it out together.

Author's Bio: 

Jonathan Flaks, M.C.C. Since 1998, Jonathan has worked with clients, one-and-one and in groups, to enhance personal effectiveness, focus and confidence and team-leadership skills. Jonathan draws from a diverse, 20-year business communication and consulting background. Clients have come from BMG Entertainment, Morgan Stanley, KPMG, IBM, Disney, Deloitte, Honeywell, Goldman Sachs, and many entrepreneurial and professional service firms.

He has authored two works - "Income Double-Half the Trouble," and "Who Are You, Inc., - Bring Out Your Best In Business." As a speaker, Jonathan actively involves participants in experiencing breakthroughs and learning skills for high-energy team dynamics, sustainable focus and confidence.

Jonathan maintains a Master Certified Coach distinction from the International Coach Federation. He earned a dual degree from Cornell University and was Adjunct Professor in Business Leadership and Coaching Skills for New York University. Jonathan was founder and past president of the Westchester/ Rockland chapter of the International Coach Federation and is an Ambassador for Riverkeeper.

Personal Note
Here are a few things about me that you wouldn't otherwise see in a traditional bio.

I care deeply about my clients and I practice getting to the heart of the matter quickly. Sometimes that "aha" involves tough, thought provoking questions, other times it comes from enjoying a few good laughs along the way. Friends and clients know that I'm happy to try to answer any question any time, and if I don't have the answer, I refer to other resources for solutions.

Personal Passions
My wife, Ellen, and our two terrific sons
All Classic Rock Music - My favorite groups are Yes, Led Zeppelin, The Who, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, The Grateful Dead, The Doors and Van Morrison. On some weekends, I perform with "Not DEAD Yet."
I love being on or in the water: Sailing, SCUBA , swimming
On land... tennis, biking and skiing
Favorite Foods – Lobster, chocolate pudding pie, a nice crisp apple.

For a free sample session to see if we would work well together, visit www.jfcoach.com.