I used to seek answers and guidance from all kinds of external sources. I spent a lot of money going for workshops, healing sessions, and I spent a lot of time reading books on spirituality and self-help.

Undoubtedly, those resources played a great part in contributing to my growth as a person.

But the huge turning point in my personal development came when one day, I finally KNEW that all the answers I seek are already within me.

This is something a lot of us conceptually know. But until we understand this experientially, we will continue to seek answers from friends, experts, teachers and gurus - all because we simply don't trust the fact that there is this infinite wisdom that lies deep within us.

I had a recent session with Michelle (*name changed for confidentiality reasons) who felt very guilty about being depressed and not contributing enough to the family finances.

"What should I do?" She asked me.

I am the kind of therapist who don't believe in giving advice (if you need advice you would have to look for someone else!). I would rather assist my clients in connecting to their own inner wisdom, helping them to know the guru within.

My response to her was this. "Put your hand on your heart and ask your question again. Then listen to what your heart says. It may be very subtle, so listen carefully."

When she has done that, I asked her, "What did your heart say?"

Her reply, "Take it easy."

With that, she stopped feeling guilty about not working as hard as she should, and relax in the knowledge that her body and soul needs a good break for now.

Some of you may be wondering, "How do I know whether the answers you get come from the head or the heart?"

Head answers are often critical, logical, complicated and punitive. Heart answers are usually kind, loving and simple - just like the one that Michelle received.

My experience is that the heart also often speaks much more softly and gently than the head, which means I really need to take the time and space and listen closely.

Here's another amusing story I heard from my friend Ailee. She was seeing a lady who was all stressed up from planning a big birthday bash for her dear husband. After listening to her raving and ranting, finally Ailee told her to focus on her breathing, and once in tune with herself, to ask her heart "How can I make this a good party for him?"

In a few moments, her tense face shifted to one of surprise and peace, as she heard the answer. It was simply 2 words. "Ask him."


Remember, life is only as hard as we allow it to be. Even with answers received from the heart, the head may be quite adept in stressing you out by saying things like, "But what about....", "Are you sure or not?", "No way! You need to consider this and this and that...", "You are just making this up because you want to take the lazy way out", etc.

(Can you guess that I write this from experience? :) )

So how?

Just send love to this head of ours... it may be noisy, it may create stress for us, but so do our children and pets. Don't we love them anyway? :)

Once we live from the heart, life becomes easy peasy.

Tapping Exercise for today:

Tap the Karate Chop point and say "Even though I have trouble listening to my heart because ______, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I am willing to release all negative beliefs that prevent me from connecting to my inner wisdom."

Then tap on the remaining EFT points, thinking of all the reasons why you cannot trust yourself, OR you may simply set the intention for healing this lack of self-trust and notice the thoughts and feelings that arise as you do the tapping.

Trust yourself... put "experts" like me out of business!

PS: Otherwise come to me, and I will make sure you will not become a long-term client. :)

"As soon as you learn to trust yourself, you learn to live."
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Author's Bio: 

Lena Chen is an experienced EFT practitioner and author of "Emotional Freedom at your fingertips: How to get from PISSED to PEACE in mere minutes with Emotional Freedom Techniques" as well as creator of the EFT Affirmation Cards. Her expertise lies in helping her clients to heal chronic pains, relationship conflicts and depression. With her keen intuition, compassion and the wonderful efficacy of EFT, she has helped hundreds of people to heal themselves, thus improving their self-esteem, health and relationships. To find out more about Lena, please visit her website at www.lenashealinghaven.com or contact her at lena@lenashealinghaven.com.