Although life is rarely black and white, this doesn’t mean that one’s mind is able to realise this. Instead, one can end up seeing their whole life in this way and not only is this limiting, it also doesn’t reflect reality.

While it could be said that some people think like this and some people don’t, there are going to be reasons for it. One reason is that one still views life though the eyes of their child self.

Early Years

During these early years, one’s thinking brain wouldn’t have been developed and this would have meant that everything was taken at face value. One wouldn’t have been able to think about what was happening or to reflect.

How one saw life during these years would have been a consequence of how they felt in each moment and one wouldn’t have been able to detach. So if another person did something bad, it would have meant they were bad.

Later On

As times goes by and one’s thinking mind begins to develop, one can then have the ability to move away from this reactive way of seeing life and to see that there is more to it. So while another can do something bad, it one is able to see that this is just one part of them.

Through this, one will be able to see how diverse life is, and this will stop them from constantly creating the kind of limits that will arise through polarised thinking. This doesn’t mean that one will always be able to see life in this way, but it will give them the ability to do so.

The Alternative

However, for one reason or another, this doesn’t always take place and this means that one hasn’t got the ability to see life differently. To them, life is either black or white and that’s all there is to it.

This is not to say that one is stuck this way and that it’s not possible for them to develop this ability. One reason for this could be due to the fact that one’s emotional brain is not working with their thinking brain. One’s emotions could be out of control and it is then not possible for them to think properly.


While emotions are often overlooked when it comes to thinking rationally, they actually play an important part in one being able to do so. If one is emotionally settled, it is going to be a lot easier for them to think properly and to come to balanced conclusions.

Yet if one is not emotionally centred, it going to be a challenge for them to think properly. This is because the thinking brain sits on top of the emotional brain; with their being more information sent from the emotional brain to the thinking brain than the other way around.


So even though one’s emotions are often dismissed and seen as being secondary to their thoughts, their emotional brain is just as important. If anything, it is even more important and not something that one should overlook.

The ideal will be for them to work together and this will allow one to be far more resourceful than they would be if their thinking brain and emotional brain were at odds with each other. And providing their reptilian brain is settled, it will be possible for one to operate as whole human being.

Self Development

When people get into self development for instance, it could be because their mind and emotions are not working together. For others, it could be because they want to understand themselves. Reading, attending courses and/or listening to audio books could then be seen as a way for them to ‘know who they are’.

However, while one person might believe that life is all about finding who they are, for another, it is going to be about creating who they are. George Bernard once said - “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

Two Outlooks

So when one believes life is about finding yourself, they could end up being focused on what is taking place within them. And when it comes to people who believe that life is about creating yourself, they might be focused on what is taking place externally.

Yet, to say to say that it is either one or the other could be seen as another example of black and white thinking. If human beings were not conditioned from the moment they were born, it would be logical to say it is about creating yourself.


However, as human beings are conditioned from the moment they are born, it is going to be important for them to let go of what doesn’t belong to them so they can get in touch with their true needs. Now, this doesn’t mean that one has to spend their life completely consumed by their inner world; one will also need to experience what the external world has to offer.

The Mirror

Through being in the world, one will be able to get in touch with what is within them and this is because the world will act like a mirror. For it is through being around others that one will be able to know what is right for them and what isn’t.

And while one could be drawn to something without knowing why or develop an identity that they didn’t expect to develop, it could be in alignment with what has always been within them. Just like a seed needs the right conditions in order to grow, one needs the right external factors in order for what is within them to be revealed.


With this is mind, one doesn’t need to accept one option and reject the other, they can embrace both sides. At times, one might feel the need to let go of something and at others, they might feel the need to go out and discover who they are.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

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