If someone ends up getting into self-development, it can be a sign that their mind is their own worst enemy. So, instead of this part of them giving them the support and encouragement that they need, it will be doing the complete opposite.

This part of them could have the tendency to produce negative thoughts and to continually construct negative scenarios. For as long as they can remember, this part of them may have tormented them.

Snapped Out of It

For one reason or another, one will have been able to see that this is not right and that they shouldn’t be experiencing life in this way. Thanks to this insight, it will have allowed them to take the first step, with the first step being to look into what they can do to change their life.

Now that they are able to detach from what is taking place within them and to observe their mind, if only for a small amount of time each day, they may see that they usually experience the same old thoughts and scenarios. Therefore, regardless of whether they observe this part of them at the beginning of the week or at the end, it will be the same old story.

Slightly Different

At the same time, if they were to step out of their usual routine and had something different planned, what their mind comes out with could change. But, even though the thoughts might be different and even the scenarios, the general theme will most likely be the same.

In other words, this part of them won’t be on their side; it will still be undermining them. And, even though what is going in their mind won’t be a lot different during times like this, one may find that they feel more comfortable with the other stuff their mind comes out with.

Better the Devil You Know

The reason for this is that this will be what is familiar to them, so it might be easier for them to tolerate. Still, if they are used to having a verbally abusive mind, it might not make much difference.

Naturally, having all this stuff going through their mind is going to make it harder for them to move forward and to achieve their goals. In addition to this, they may find that it is hard for them to connect with others and to form deep and meaningful relationships.

The Second Step

What they may have learnt, after reaching out for support, is that they need to change their thoughts. By no longer having the same thoughts and or the same scenarios running through their mind, their life may slowly change for the better.

One can then go from someone who had a mind that was operating on autopilot, to someone who has a mind that they are in control of. This won’t take place overnight, of course, but it may happen over time.

The Perfect Outcome

By applying their willpower and making sure that changing what is taking part in their mind is part of their day-to-day life, they may gradually become their own best friend. And, with this inner support and encouragement, just about every area of their life could gradually change.

Their mind wouldn’t have been in a good place and this was then why the rest of their life was not in a good place. Then again, one may find that this approach works for a short while and then they start to revert back to how they were before, or they might not even be able to make much progress at all.

The Wrong Approach

Even though focusing on their mind seems like the right thing for them to do, it doesn’t mean that this is actually the case. The trouble is that as this is the area that the self-development world typically focuses on, it can make it even harder for someone to realise that it is not always about the mind.

As a result of this, one can then end up spending year after year focusing on the wrong area. It is then similar to one looking in one room for something, even though what they are looking for is in another room.

The Key Area

If one was to get out of mind and to connect to their body, what they may find is that they are carrying a lot of emotional pain in their body. Thus, while it may seem as though these negative thoughts are the problem, they are simply a defence that their mind is utilizing to make sure that they are not overwhelmed with pain.

With this in mind, if this pain was no longer locked in their body, they would no longer need to have so many thoughts. Also, their thoughts that they do have would also most likely change in the process.

Another Hurdle

So, as the emotional pain underneath the negative thoughts can be even more painful, one may find that a big part of them would rather go back to how things were. Experiencing negative thoughts will be painful, yet it won’t be as painful as facing the pain that is fuelling these thoughts.

If this is the case, one may find that they go back to how things were, even though this is not allowing them to live a fulfilling life. What needs to be brought into focus here is that mind, along with having the need to avoid pain, is only interested in what is familiar as what is familiar is what is safe, and experiencing negative thoughts is most definitely going to be what is familiar.


The reason that they are carrying painful feelings in their body is likely to be because they have experienced trauma. One experience or a number of experiences would have ended up causing their whole being to be overwhelmed, and, as this was too much for them to handle, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to integrate the experience.

If one has experienced life in this way for as long as they can remember, it may show that what took place during their early years traumatised their being. Maybe this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected.


In order for them to reintegrate, they will need to resolve the trauma that is in their body and mind. This is something that is not going to happen by playing around with the thoughts that are in their head or by changing their behaviour.

If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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