There is a point in every single woman’s life when she pauses and asks herself, “Why is everyone else finding a match but me?” She gets advice from her coupled girlfriends and is assured that she is desirable and there must be something wrong with them. Or, perhaps they have an intervention confronting her with the fact that she is just too picky. If this sounds like you, check out these top five mistakes women make when searching for Mr. Right.

1. Making him your “God” – No matter how good-looking, successful, charming and appealing he is, he is NOT better than you. Many women shrink when they find someone they think is a good catch or someone they are just infatuated with. If you believe that you are less than him and need to earn his love, what does that say about you? Many men may find this appealing at first as you feed their ego but they will tire of this energy after a while. You are always unconsciously communicating to your potential mates and your inner feelings of inferiority will be picked up by him. Eventually, he will start to believe that you aren’t that great either. Solution: Always believe that you are the prize. Confidence is very attractive to a healthy person ready for a relationship. No games, just self-love and respect. Self-hypnosis is a great way to increase your confidence naturally.

2. Sex before you are emotionally ready – There is no exact rule as to when you should have sex with your new love interest. Every relationship dynamic is different. Some factors that should be considered are your personal religious beliefs and availability of birth control and STD protection. The most exciting part of a relationship can be the time spent before the consummation. Some women want to rush into sex because it has been a long time or they want to solidify the bond. However, when a couple sleeps together too soon there is an incredible amount of pressure placed upon the new relationship. Solution: Make sure that you know the person enough to be able to express your feelings. If you don’t feel safe opening your heart, then keep your legs closed.

3. Talking about previous relationships – Everyone has a past and it is very normal for your partner to want to know a little about your past relationships. The problem occurs when a woman shares too much about her past heartaches, men who have treated her poorly or expresses anger or resentment over her last love. The man wants to feel like it is all about him not the other guy. Solution: Keep your heartache stories to share with your girlfriends. Remember anything you say on your date can and will be used against you.

4. Planning the wedding after the first date – This is not only annoying to your girlfriends who hear you say “I think this is the one” with every new guy who surfaces, but it also undermines your opportunity to discover what you really want. If all you can think about is what he will look like next to you on your wedding day, you may be more in love with the wedding than the guy. No matter how great a first date can be, you do not know enough information about him to make a life choice so soon. You may also sabotage the relationship because your expectations are so high. Solution: Save yourself some trouble. Don’t plan the wedding until if and when he proposes.

5. Falling for the relationship instead of the person – This mistake has caused many women who come to me for help because they married the wrong person. They were in love with the idea of being a couple instead of the person that agreed to the union. Whether their biological clock was ticking or everyone else was getting married that year, they jumped into the first relationship that appeared and went with it. Another issue that arises in this scenario is that many women hold on to past relationships because of this false pretense. They cannot let go of their ex, not because they love him but because he represents a safe-haven from the dark, dreary singles’ life. Solution: Be clear on the type of man you want to have in your life. If you are certain on what you are looking for, you will be less likely to find someone who you bend into your mold of Mr. Right to fix your single status.

Author's Bio: 

Debra Berndt is a Certified Hypnotic Love Coach offering sessions, workshops, teleclasses and weekly radio show, The Love Coach Show on BlogTalkRadio. Her book, "Let Love In" is to be released in early 2010. Her website is - sign up for a free hypnosis mp3 visualization download and weekly dating tips.