Top Five Reasons For Your Online Relationship with a Filipina to Fail

Long distance cross-cultural relationships are tough. Not only are both partners tasked to cut across differences in culture. They also have to put up with the lack of physical intimacy caused by their separation. In my humble opinion, having tried online dating services and knowing the attitude of my female compatriots - Filipina or women from the Philippines, here are the top reasons for the failure of your online relationship with a Pinay (that's slang for Filipina). 1. I-Me-Mine Mindset. Of course, as they say, it takes two to tango. But you're not going to have that dance, if you think the world revolves around you. Anyone who persists on such an attitude and viewpoint, I think, should hide under a rock. You and your Filipina partner both have needs and wants. It is simply not enough for both of you to view the relationship as a "give and take". You should help each other out to satisfy each other. Of course, if every relation - not just personal but even in business - it is better if both camps always attempt for a "win-win solution" to every problem. 2. Jealousy. Watch out for the green monster. Your Filipina partner is not your property. She and you, of course, should be free to have contact with other people. Social interaction is good for you (and her) so why deny yourself the opportunity to be better? But if you feel other people are too close for your comfort, feel free to tell your mate. There should be boundaries, after all, but these limits should be created by a consensus. 3. Domination and Control. While there is now a general condemnation of patriarchy, (i.e., of male dominance over the female species) and a universal acceptance of equality among sexes, the control freak residing in some people make them want to dominate their partners. With a crosscultural relationship with your Asian partner, her usual submissive state may turn to open defiance if she would regard your attitude as "racist", which may mean that you regard her as a second-class citizen or your skin color as a evidence of your self-perceived racial superiority. 4. Lack of Communication or Language Barrier. Filipinos in general are among the world best communicators. They converse very well in English. But there are still cultural barriers that may hamper open and free communication, such hindrances may lead you both to conclude that you're not talking on the same level. Be patient. Learn to listen with empathy and read between lines. Understand before trying to be understood. 5. Lies and Fault Finding. The sum of the above-mentioned four problems in a relationship would lead to the fifth, a low-trust environment where both of you find it easy to lie and to find fault in each other. You may nitpick on a wrong doing but you are not criticizing the act but the person. Once in a much publicized breakup between a celebrity couple here in the Philippines, the husband was asked on what started his domestic troubles. He said that his wife was too wasteful as she squeezes toothpaste tubes near its caps. Of course, it sounded trivial but it shows that the split was caused by years of fault finding until the pressure was too much and they both called for a divorce. I hope these tips help you find a Filipina online dating partner to make you satisfied and happy.