When you break up with someone you care about, it can take an exhausting toll on the entire spirit of a person. You have spent a long time with that person, shared your hopes and dreams, built your future sometimes with that person, and then when things do not work out, you have nothing but a giant pile of disappointment. Sometimes the break ups are hurtful and people go their separate ways carrying sadness, resentment, and bad feelings around. It is hard to let go and it seems as though the pain will never disappear. But there are some things you can do to help with the pain and to make things a little easier for you.

First, depending on the nature of the break up, you need to decide whether or not it is a good idea to be friends afterwards. Usually, it is always a bad idea, as people who break up still harbor deep feelings for one another and deciding to be friends after that is not always the best or most feasible idea as people might get lost and confused and bewildered.

Also, after such intense feelings, it is not easy to just be friends and to act in an entirely different way. In fact, many times, the aftermath of a break up is worsened if people decide to just be friends, because one person might want to get back together and the other might not and then one person might feel hurt that things are not the same and the changes might make it even more unbearable. With that in mind, decide whether it is possible for you to just be friends with your ex- boyfriend or girlfriend and know that even if in the present it might not be the best idea, you can always reconvene later and maybe be friends after the feelings have passed.

Letting go of someone is never easy and can cause a lot of grief in your life. One way to let go of a person is to remove all reminders of them. You might want to take down photos of the two of you, bury letters and mementos, and put all reminders and keepsakes away somewhere. If the break up was very hurtful and you think that the presence of that person in your life is toxic, you can even try burning the keepsakes and photos and feel a therapeutic release as a result.

Sometimes it helps to get a sense of closure, too, because unspoken words and unfinished business can cause more tension than healing. So, if there are any parting words that you need to say, any last expressions of feelings, whether bad or good, let yourself let them all out at once and then turn around and never look back till you have healed.

Sometimes as break ups can take a huge toll, make sure you surround yourself with friends and loved ones during this hard time. Remind yourself that you are not alone even though an important part of your life is now gone, that there is still hope in your future and that things are not going to be bad forever. Let your friends tell you that you will find someone one day and that it was for the best.

Another reason some break ups are so difficult is the doubt that sometimes occurs afterwards. You begin to miss the person and you wonder if you did the right thing or not. This might even make you reconsider, in a fit of sadness, and you might be tempted to run back to that person and fix things immediately. But, that is why it is important to make a list of all the reasons why you broke up in the first place, because those are usually rational reasons, and make sure you consult that list all the times you feel weak or doubtful.

Author's Bio: 

Roberto Sedycias works as IT consultant for Polomercantil