We all have people around us who can make us lose control. How can we treat them?

Yes, they live around us. Whether they are people from your close environment or people from you deal with rarely, you are getting crazy from the first moment you are discussing with them. You cannot communicate with them. You just cannot! There is a solution, take a look…

Get yourself out of the equation
We believe that when someone communicates with us, what he has in his mind is…us. But think about it, while you are talking to someone, who is the person you have in your mind…? That’s right! It is you! This is completely normal as the feelings and the thoughts come from you. So, whatever one says, the kind of attitude one adopts, has nothing to do with you. It has to do with all the problems the other person has with himself. It is important not to take things personally. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you do not express yourself when you feel insulted or when you feel your boundaries are suppressed. Even under these circumstances, phrases like ‘Could you’, ‘If we see it from another point of view together.. ‘Another option could be’, ‘I think it would be better to talk some other time when things will be calmer’, etc can ease out the tension.
Take yourself out of the equation and the communication process would be easier.

In the old days, there were times that man was scared for his life while he was hunting and was killing animals for food. This phenomenon is called fight or flight response. It is about reacting, the man should take within seconds the decision to stay and fight or to give up and…fly away. The body was powerful enough to support the man take the right decision: the adrenaline rushed and the muscles hardened in order to correspond in any alternative. The breath became shallow and sharp. It is normal when you have a bear staring at you! When we meet a person from whom we expect a negative behavior, we get into a fight or flight situation. It is our instinct. When this happens, when you see someone you don’t get along with, I would recommend you take 3 deep breaths. These breaths will help you react wisely and serenely, without fear. In this way, you would be able to communicate properly and let your real personality shine.

See ahead!
Before you meet with the person that makes you feel uncomfortable, close your eyes for 3 minutes and imagine how you would like the conversation to progress. Not how you think this conversation will be, but how the ideal ending would be. Feel all the beautiful emotions and imagine yourself smiling with pleasure after this conversation. Try this and the results will surprise you.

Communication is an attitude. If there is positive attitude on behalf of yourself, then you have already done the first step. Follow these advice at the next ‘difficult’ communication you might have and I am sure that things would be easier this time.

Be Unique!

Jill Douka

Author's Bio: 

Jill Douka supports people to take action, feel secure and get the greatest value from their future. She is a coach, workshop leader and author, lives in Athens, Greece, next to the sea, working with clients from 3 continents. She is the founder of http://www.uniquenessdevelopmentgroup.com