If someone’s life is not how they want it to be, they could end up reaching out for external support. Naturally, this is going to be far better than simply tolerating what is going on and suffering in silence.

This could be a time when they reach out for the support of a therapist or healer. One could have mental and emotional challenges and/or their relationships might not be going in the right direction.

The Next Step

If they do have mental and emotional challenges, the therapist/healer could ask them to talk about what has been going on for them. After this, they could ask them when they first started to experience life in this way.

This will then be a time when one will open up about what is going on for them and they could say that their life has been this way for as long as they can remember. Consequently, one could end up talking about what took place during their early years.

Another Scenario

Alternatively, one could go into their first session being only too aware of the effect that their early years have had on their adult life. Perhaps one has done a fair amount of research on this already.

As a result of this, it might be relatively easy for them to describe what took place when they were younger. What this will then mean is that the person they are working with won’t have to put in as much effort into finding out about their history as they would otherwise.

Step Two

Irrespective of whether one was aware of what took place at the beginning or not, the time that they spend with the therapist/healer can be spent working through the wounds that they experienced as a child. These will be wounds that were created as a result of what took place when they were younger.

This could have been a time when they experienced different kinds of abuse and/or neglect. What took place may have left them with abandonment issues, made it hard for them to feel good about themselves, and impacted their ability to experience a sense of empowerment, for instance.

The Priority

No matter what they are going through, they are most likely going to want to put what took place behind them and to live a fulfilling life. Facing and working through what took place will be seen as the way for them to make this into a reality.

As they start to let go of the past, they will be able to spend more time in the now – the where their power lies. This is, of course, a process and not something that is going to take place overnight.

Moving Forward

After they have had a few sessions, they may find that they feel different and that their life is starting to change. This can show that the past is gradually losing its hold over them.

In addition to the work that they do with this person, there could be a number of things that they do in their own time to transform their life. They could end up working with this person for a number of months, if not longer.

A Different Outcome

Conversely, one’s life could change for a short while and then go back to how it was, or it might not really change. And, regardless of whether their life changes for a short while or not at all, they could end up becoming even more caught up in what happened many, many years ago.

What this could mean is that they might rarely feel like an adult; instead, they could often feel like a powerless child and experience a lot of anger and rage, amongst other things. Through feeling this way, what took place in the past will have more control over their life than it did before.

The Wrong Direction

To use an analogy: it will be as though one has stopped at a refuelling station, only to forget about what they are doing. Due to what is taking place inside them, they might have lost sight of why they reached out for support in the first place.

Thanks to this, they will be caught up in their wounds and they might not even realise it. And, if they carry on with the same approach, when it comes to working through their inner wounds, their life is likely to get worse.

What’s going on?

One thing that needs to be acknowledged here is that when it comes to the wounds that occurred when they were younger, there is going to be a certain familiarity to them. When it comes to the feelings that are experienced with their wounds, these are likely to be feelings that they experienced throughout their early years.

Ergo, while part of them will want to experience life differently, a bigger part of them will want to experience life in the same way as they did as a child. The reason for this is that to their ego mind, what is familiar is what is safe.

Two Points

According to this part of them, if they change their life, it will cause their life to come to an end. Taking this into account, part of them is going to do what it can to make sure that their life stays the same; even though how they are experiencing life is not serving them.

The other part of this is that what one is currently doing to let go of their past might not be right for them. So, in order for them to move forward, they may need to try another approach altogether.


If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it will be essential for them to take a step back from what they are doing and to try another approach. The approach/information that they need to change their life is out there, they just might not find it straight away.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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