There are a lot of single people out there. I interact with them everyday, hell, I am one! What I’ve learned in my own dating and relationship life is that single people are single for three reasons:

• you wanna be
• your relationship just ended
• there’s no one for you to date (or so you think)

The wannabes. If you’re one of the few people who are happy and excited (like me) to be single, then you’re part of the wannabes. You’re at stage in your life where you’d rather focus your time and attention on other things rather than dating or finding a life partner. It’s not that if one came and sat down next to you you’d refuse. It’s just you’re single, you’re happy, and you have no desire to change that at the current moment.

Relationship just ended. This is really a no brainer. You’re single because, well, you just got out of a relationship! It’s usually around this time that people end up going two routes: either they end up jumping into another relationship immediately OR they end up being one of the wannabes. Hopefully, whatever stage is chosen, there’s a lot of reflecting going on. For without it, there’s a huge chance of repeating same patterns.

There’s no one to date! These are the people who are single and don’t want to be. You can spot them a million miles away! They’re desperate, clingy, and needy. It’s not their fault really, I mean they are great people. But, something is going on between their noggin that is making them believe that being single equals misery and that having a relationship, any relationship, is better than none.

Whichever category you fall into, it is possible to thrive in all three. It’s all about mindset and taking some action. I know it seems I’m picking on the third category, but I assure you I’m not. People in category one can easily have moments from category three, so don’t think I’m being cruel or harsh. I’m just being real, hence, why my title is The No B.S. Specialist.

I’ll elaborate more in my next article on how to thrive in all three categories. I’ll leave you with this thought: If your life were to stay exactly as it is right now, what would you have to do to enjoy it? What would you need to do to make it fun?

Author's Bio: 

Shay Banks, a.k.a. The No B.S. Specialist, is a Dating Coach, Writer, Educator, and Vivacious Diva (yes, Diva is an official title!). When she's not helping clients create a love life they they can't resist, she's happily dancing, reading, or spending time with her loved ones. You can find her at: or you can email her at: