ANYONE can be successful at flirting and dating, however there are certain misconceptions that you must overcome in order to flirt effectively and naturally. After all, isn’t the goal of flirting to improve not only the number of dates you have ahead of you…but also the quality, strength and depth of the connections? Here are some myths that once you overcome, will allow you to be yourself and lead with your heart in order to attract that special person and create a long-lasting relationship.


1. Follow the rules in a book and you will succeed.

Truth: How can you follow someone else's rules and expect to succeed. Yes, smiling is important (that's a good rule to follow) but take not about how you feel when someone tells you what to do. Most of us react to that negatively. And trying to be someone else will never get you into a relationship that is lasting. After pretending for a while...the show will be over before it has actually begun.

What to do: Make a list of all the positive ways you interact with others; it doesn't matter if the list is long or short but try to put at least 3 things down on paper. Practice these top 3 ways that are authentically YOU. Know that you are good at these, that you are capable and that when you are yourself, people will enjoy you for who YOU are! Don't you want to be with someone who is attracted to who you are?

2. If you obsess over getting married and having babies, you will!

Truth: Gong! When you meet someone and start thinking about your wedding, the color of your house and what you’ll name your children, the other person will definitely feel that pressure. Ladening a new relationship with projections into the future is the best way to shorten the length of even the first date!

What to do: Relax! Enjoy yourself. Stay open to the present relationship and the unique gifts it has to offer you. When you remain in the moment, you are able to enjoy yourself more and make a deeper connection. From there, who knows what will happen!

3. Flirting = sex.

Truth: Nope! Saying ‘hi’ to someone and smiling is not an open invitation or guaranteed promise of sexual activity. Flirting is communicating interest in getting to know someone better. That’s all. End of sentence.

What to do: Flirt with confidence that you are in control of your 'yes' -- and 'no' -- regarding how far to take the meeting or date.

Author's Bio: 

Robyn Vogel uses her psychotherapist training and flirting expertise to help men and women develop their dating self-confidence and attract the love they desire. Find other wisdom of Robyn’s guidance and flirting skills at