The Social Butterfly

It seemed to John that Jane spent at least as much time away from her desk as she did at her desk. It seemed like every time he walked down the hallway he would see her speaking with someone. And she never made it through the company cafeteria without stopping to exchange greetings with several people. John had never seen most of these people before; they clearly did not work in Information Technology or represent their major user groups.

John was never sure if he should say anything to Jane or not. Her socializing appeared excessive and yet, she always got all her work completed and her projects ran smoothly. So, although she seemed to be a bit too social for his tastes, John figured he should just let it go. It never occurred to him that Jane knew something that he did not. It never dawned on him that her socializing was actually strategic professional behavior.

Then one day the CEO called John and informed him that it was time for the Information Technology (IT) department to host and manage the yearly company party. John was shocked and panicked. He just assumed that the sales or marketing departments would always want to take charge of this event. In prior years, John had attended some of the planning meetings for this event. Talk about chaos, every department wanted things their way, no body could agree on anything. Basically who ever was the most persistent got their way.

As John drove home that evening, he was still annoyed about the yearly party. He was a technology guy, not a party guy. Who in IT would ever be able to coordinate the yearly party? As soon as that idea went through John’s mind, he instantly received a series of very clear visual images; Jane in the cafeteria talking to the marketing team and Jane in the hallway joking with the accounts payable manager and Jane getting coffee with their benefits manager. The answer was obvious, Jane was the right person to bring people together and to make things happen.

All of a sudden John began to appreciate Jane and her social skills. He realized that she had built some smart and valuable relationships.

If John had studied emotional intelligence or EQ, he would have seen that Jane’s ability to build rapport with a wide range of people was part of why her projects went so smoothly. She had mastered the component of EQ called Social Skill. In order to master Social Skill she also must have excelled at the other areas of EQ:

Self-Awareness – A person who is self-aware understands their own moods and emotions and also how those moods and emotions may impact others.

Self-Regulation – Someone who exhibits self-regulation thinks before they act. Remember that person you worked for? The one who used to get red in the face, yell and scream and throw notebooks across the room? They were not exhibiting self-regulation at all.

Motivation – If you love to work and it is not just for money or for status; if you have a strong drive to achieve; then you know about motivation.

Empathy – The empathetic individual is able to understand the emotions of others and also learns to treat them as they wish to be treated.

Apparently there was more to being a social butterfly than meets the eye.

Author's Bio: 

Margaret developed a passionate belief that it takes courage and skill to be human at work and that all individuals have a responsibility to treat each other with dignity, respect and compassion.

Motivated by her beliefs and the desire to make a difference in the lives of others, Margaret acted on her vision by founding Meloni Coaching Solutions, Inc. Her vision is to create a group of successful individuals who are at peace with their authentic selves; a group of people who help and support others; a group who bring humanity to the office and thrive because of it. Margaret sees a world where achieving peace and achieving success go hand-in-hand.

Margaret’s students and clients often find that what she really brings them is freedom to bring their authentic selves to the office. As a former Information Technology Executive, Margaret always knew her preference was for the people behind the technology. Now Margaret brings those beliefs to individuals from many professional backgrounds. The common thread across her client base is the desire to experience peace at work and the recognition that peace is not absence of conflict, peace is the ability to cope with conflict. For these people, Margaret Meloni is truly ‘A Path to Peace’. ™

You can learn more about Margaret and her courses, programs, and products at: