The Secret to Online Dating Success!

Internet dating is the rage and although it may make your neck hairs bristle, more and more women are looking for love online. Here are some great, tried and true tips for online dating success:

1) Create a great profile. Let yourself, be a little alluring with words like “passionate and fun-loving” but don’t be too blatant or crass. I advise women to not use ‘sexy’ as it may give the wrong idea. Get help when writing your profile from someone you trust and who knows you well.

2) In your profile, be honest about what you want. If you don’t want a struggling musician, than request a “financially stable man”, if you don’t want a confirmed bachelor, refer to yourself as ‘marriage-minded’, etc.

3) Keep things ‘light’. Men love women who have a happy attitude towards life. Put some humor in the profile be upbeat when you first start emailing or meet for coffee. The main complaint I hear from men is that women get all ‘serious and heavy’ too quickly and the men get turned off.

4) Learn to weed out quickly. If the guy loves to camp every weekend and you hate it—don’t think that you can change your personality to fit his. You will only end up resenting him and yourself for settling for less that what you want.

5) Create a spread sheet or notebook with all your responses so you have a record of who you have spoken with and seen, etc. Rate them on their “possibility and likeability quotient”.

6) If he sounds great in emails and on the phone—make the coffee date! This yacking away for weeks without meeting is a waste of time! It’s not until you meet and see if there is chemistry will you know if there is a chance for something to develop.

7) Always meet them in a public place and don’t let them come to your place at first. Let men earn the right to pick you up and see you home.

8) If the first meeting goes well and you want to see him again, look right into his eyes at the end and say sweetly “Thank you. I had such a wonderful time.” This will be a cue for him to make a second date. If he doesn’t, don’t sweat it—keep moving. There many more men for you to check out!

9) If he only wants to get together during the week and only has a cell phone number—be aware. Sounds like he may be otherwise involved. Especially if Saturday continues to be out of the question for a ‘date night’.

10) Have fun! It’s supposed to be fun. Make your coffee, lunch or dinner dates and know that that’s all it is! It’s coffee…period. It’s lunch…period. It’s dinner…period. It’s NOT “find out if he’s the guy who will love me, marry me want to have kids and stay with me forever” over a Chef’s salad! Take it slow, let it unfold. Great things develop in time and guys can feel your desperation and fear. Keep it light and fun—life is too short.

Helpful Hints:
Do be yourself, but if you have a highly developed masculine side, better to keep that in check. Check in with your femininity—whatever your version of that is.

Don’t grill him. When out, talk about things like your interests, work, favorite places to eat, etc…simple and light. Here is a perfect example—I am married to a great guy, John, for 4 years now. When we first went out we talked about fun things and had a great time. He later told me that he had a date with someone before meeting me who asked him on the first date: “Why did your marriage end? What do you think of marriage? Why don’t you have more kids? When do you want to have more kids? When do you plan to get married again?
John was so turned off- as this was all over their first dinner. He felt overwhelmed and on trial. He didn’t ask her out again. And she probably thought John was a jerk for not calling her. She missed a chance with a great guy by alienating him on the first date.

Don’t have sex right away. Generally speaking, men do not marry women who give it away too easily. They will wait for the women who makes him work for it.

Author's Bio: 

Catherine Cardinal, Ph.D. has been a guest expert on the O'Reilly Factor, Starting Over, Good Day New York, CBS Studio 2, KABC’s Advice for Life, Playboy, Blind Date,, and She's been a commentator on more than 25 U.S. and international radio programs, and featured in Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Redbook, Ladie's Home Journal, In Touch and Publisher's Weekly. The Los Angeles Times best-selling author of A Cure for the Common Life: The Cardinal Rules of Self-Esteem, Catherine is a Relationship Coach, and creator of "The Cardinal Coaching Technique", a Movement Expression Therapist and Anger Management Facilitator. She has taught at The Learning Annex and is on staff at Rejuvalife Vitality Institute in Beverly Hills and The Stress and Anger Management Institute in Manhattan Beach. Her books have been published in seven languages.

Her recent release, Men To Run From, is available on, Barnes and, and at your local bookstore as is “A Cure for the Common Life: The Cardinal Rules of Self-Esteem.”