When Cupid calls, the Rose Coloured Glasses colour our world and the world suddenly becomes a magical place - just like something out of Disney!
You're the handsome prince/princess and the other person is your Perfect Match.
Yes, that is indeed the vision of "Falling in Love" that so many people have been led to trust.

All the world loves a lover and believe me, I'm the first person to want to see everyone happy and in love. Being "in love" in the romantic fairy tale sense of the word, is blissful and bliss is delicious! However, if it is to be a union that will be filled with real love for the rest of your life - for example within a marriage, then it is imperative that you take off the rose coloured glasses and do some personal, emotional accounting. As well, you need to take a "clear visioned" and "honest" look at your potential spouse.

This is not designed to "dump your dreams" or "demolish" your futures spouse's character beyond repair. It is a way to fundamentally establish "realities" from which you can make loving and self respecting choices. These choices will afford true and lasting happiness for both of you going forward. Instead of "gifting" yourself and your partner a "Happily Ever After" dream-come-true scenario, you must ask questions of yourself and each other which will elicit truths which may otherwise be hidden or overlooked.

When in love, our "magical thinking" allows us to see only the good in our future partners and if they don't have certain qualities that we want them to have, we will "gift" these qualities to them. They then "qualify" for Miss or Mr Right.
We automatically ASSUME they are PERFECT! This often proves a very risky way to make long term choices for the rest of your life.

We become SO obsessed with the "Perfect Dream" we have dreamt up for ourselves, that if some pieces don't fit the jigsaw well enough, we endeavour to MAKE THEM FIT by short cutting the sharp edges with our own particular brand of "denial."
For example, if Mr or Miss Right drinks too much and flirts with others, in order to maintain our Perfect Dream, we make excuses for their behaviour - "It was their birthday" or "They don't drink that much. I'm sure everything will be perfect, when we're married."

The long and the short of it is - Don't look for the Good or the Bad -
You find the maturity within yourself to accept whatever truth you find as a result of removing the rose coloured glasses for a little while.

The Truth will either reassure you that you are with your Perfect Match or it will wake you up in time to save your from a miserable future.
Whichever is the case, count your blessings and know that –

The Truth Will Set You Free


Author's Bio: 

Aileen SmithB.A.,Grad.Dip.Sc.Sci(Psych/Counselling)Cert.Teaching has eighteen years experience as a Marriage and Relationship Counsellor on the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia. She has authored a new online Pre Marriage Course called "Our Loving Commitment" and has also written two eBooks - "Heal Your Heart" and "Find True Lo9ve." All of Aileen's work can be accessed on her website www.aileensmith.webs.com
Aileen continues to work in her private practice and lives on the Gold Coast with her husband, Tony. She has two grown up children, Tracey and David who live in Sydney and Vancouver, respectively.