You’ve probably come across love life promotions such as, “Hey, vulnerable, uninformed, desperately lonely person, find your soul mate in 30 days or less and delude yourself that you two are even moderately compatible because anyone is better than no one. It’s such a terrible thing to be single, right?”

The offers aren’t phrased quite like that, but they usually include impossible to fulfill promises. You know the type-- ”Find Your Soul Mate Now!” What they fail to mention is that they’re instructing you how to form more of a business partnership rather than an authentic love connection.

If you really are aiming for only a plain, old legally- binding marriage contract with someone, anyone really, that’s fine. But our findings show, and most rational people realize, that you can’t force love. It happens when it’s supposed to happen, that is, when it’s predestined, or fated to happen. No amount of inspiration, spells, or working on your issues will change that, though those things can sometimes be part of the equation.

Sometimes the offers to attract a mate are so compelling that your balderdash detector temporarily malfunctions. Below we list five signs that an offer to find a soul mate is too good to be true.

1. The marketer (and that’s what they are, above all else) cleverly divulges something like, “It’s perfectly natural to be disappointed, in emotional pain, and frustrated that you haven’t attracted ‘The One’ yet. I was like that too before I willed my soul mate to appear.”

One sure way to know that you’re not ready for a wonderful relationship based on unconditional love is if you can’t stand to be alone and are depressed and beside yourself if you’re not in a relationship. Emotionally needy people simply don’t attract lasting, compatible relationship partners.

2. It’s astonishing that the Soul Mate Marketers tell you that it’s normal to be very unhappily single, yet in the same breath tell you that all you have to do is “work out your issues” to attract a soul mate.

Identifying your issues is one thing, and it goes way beyond simply “monitoring your thoughts” and having a few sessions with a counselor. The idea of actually working through your issues, if they even can be worked out--often times it’s hopeless due to the entrenched nature of many fears and most subconscious defenses--is one borne of excessive optimism.

3. Watch out for marketers encouraging co-dependence masked as “mutual support,” such as with this sort of promise: “Once you connect with your soul mate, your life purpose will be clear, you’ll become one with that person, and you’ll never want for emotional support again. Your shared love will, in itself, be an uplifting service to the world.”

4. Careful of promotions that use language like “call in your soul mate,” which reeks of black magic. It’s fine to use your will for the highest good of all involved, but dark energy spell-casting and manipulating energy and people (i.e., “Gimmie what I want now, even though I haven’t earned it; to hell with karma and fate!”) is a sure way to link yourself--your very soul--to demonic energies and tie your future life karma to demons that will eventually make you pay your way out of their debt. You know the saying: “Get in bed with the devil and you have to...” A “magic portal to love” is one damn, dark, toxic portal. Dabbling with the dark side includes severe consequences. Avoid it and use your energy wisely.

5. One more sign that the offer is too good to be true is that the promotional material includes testimonials from self-appointed “luminaries,” best-selling self-help writers (who are actually their associates--they all shill for each other, and frequently they share the same publisher who arranges the glowing testimonials). These jokers make the same empty promises, with different packaging, veiled in feel-good prose.

Watch for these signs and you’ll never fall for this ruse again. Also, have faith that your personal love life timing will allow for a decent love connection, in time. Meanwhile, do what you’re supposed to do when you’re single: date, have fun, and focus on areas of your life that you won’t be able to once in a serious relationship.

Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Author's Bio: 

Scott Petullo and Stephen Petullo help people make the most of their spirituality. The free Direct Your Destiny e-book can help you get on the right path with time-tested, invaluable spiritual tips, methods, and insights. Includes 13 Spiritual and New Age Myths and 11 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Psychic.