Just about every marriage has its share of peaks and valleys yet few things are as devastating like learning that your husband or wife was having an extramarital affair. You simply cannot bring yourself to accept the fact that this person you loved and swore to share your life with would do something so terrible.

Then comes the part where you have to decide whether to stay married but more importantly start the process of recovering from the affair. It is not going to be easy of course yet if you want to guarantee recovery never occurs then simply complete the following items:

1. Continue Replenishing The Negative

You loathe what your spouse did so you go out of your way to keep revisiting it over and over. All of the the negative thoughts that you ought to be working at in order to eradicate are put on a constant loop in your head. Any time it looks like it will go away you will make sure to throw a little more propane on it either by quarreling with your spouse or grabbing hold of your favorite depressing image and then thinking about it until eventually it runs on autopilot.

2. Always Asking Yourself Why?

You sit down and ponder this question every chance you get. Even if the husband or wife tells you exactly why they did what they did you still continue to ask. It is not so much that you are looking for the answer as it is you can't bring yourself to go forward and start your recovery process.

3. Planning Revenge

Your mate has been unfaithful and you need to make them pay the price for their transgression. And then what happens? You spend all of your time figuring out ways to make sure they experience the hurt you are feeling but the intention will be to make them feel it a thousand times worse. The problem is retribution is not just of waste of time but also an exercise for losers. If you really feel that strongly about what they did then go ahead and file for divorce. And even if you go that route try to avoid the scorched earth policy.

4. Announcing to Everyone

You become a town crier and broadcast to anyone within a thirty mile radius that your spouse cheated. This happens all the time now. You cannot help but do it every time you converse with someone. All this accomplishes is make sure the marital affair stays in the center ring. Bear in mind not everyone needs to know what is happening in your private life and you can't get on with your life as long as you keep rehashing it every single moment.

5. Keep It Bottled

And then at the opposite end of the spectrum is the fact that you do not tell anyone. No therapy, no support group. In fact you don't even talk it over with your mate. What's done is done and you just wish it would go away. That is not going to take place unless you undertake genuine steps to make it happen and a major portion of this is communicating with the right individuals.

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To read more concerning making it through unfaithfulness go to surviving a marital affair