The "Technology" of Understanding Another's Point of View in the Workplace

Social intelligence, with its focus on the research of neuroscience and human interaction, is primarily focused on social awareness through listening and empathy, as well as success in social relationships, including influencing others through appropriate self-presentation. Social intelligence has proven a human characteristic that is distinct from general intelligence, though there is certainly a degree of overlap between the two.

Relationship building applies all the structure and research of its sister concepts and takes that into the world of business interaction. Its focus is clearly on the dynamics that involve business interaction-understanding both colleagues and customers and, second, making the best business presentation possible to the target group.

Reading others well, including their emotional disposition, is the skill of putting ourselves into someone else’s shoes-whether that be customer or colleague-while listening attentively. This business-oriented form of empathy (listening skills) is the delicate yet powerful option of allowing mental images and/or emotional sensations of shared experiences to emerge within. It involves:

• Listening to another’s story
• A basic understanding of emotions-hurt, sorrow, anger, and so forth
• Allowing this inner feeling to grow without judgment
• Framing this feeling within the context of the particular business situation at hand
• Responding with a question, to make sure what we’ve heard the other person sharing is on target in terms of emotional accuracy

But reading others successfully also involves accessing our own emotions to accurately capture someone else’s emotion. According to Dr. Tobin Hart, from his article “The Refinement of Empathy” appearing in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology, this occurs by comparing what your colleagues or customers are telling you with your own experience, to arrive at a similar emotional experience.