The Psychology of Abusers

Abuse can take many forms, it happens in many ways and in many environments. There is currently a lot of talking about sexual harassment, also particularly thanks to TimesUp movement. There is so much harassment going on and most of it is not known or recognized. For the brave people who decide to stand up and say something, they might incur in certain behaviors from the abusers. Those behaviors might shake them even further.
Here is a short list of behaviors so that they can be a little "prepared" when they stand up. Hopefully we are going to see the END of abuse very soon.
Abusers, whatever form abuse takes, have some common behaviors if you stand up, here are a few:
- they will try to deny their wrongdoings with all their might and to do so they will try to blame you
- they will say that you have misinterpreted, that you are “too sensitive”
- they will try to make wrong, bad, guilty
- they will try to overturn the issue, saying that “it is you…”
- they will try to make you doubt of your truth and experience
- they will try to undermine you or your truth in front of other people
- they will try to isolate you from other people
- they will try to take people on their side and they will also use their authority position if they have it to do that
- they will try to erode your self-esteem and make you doubt of yourself
-they will try to make you feel you “need” them or that you won't be successful in life
- they are terrified to be found out, so they will do all they can to prevent it to come to the light. Swiss Psychiatrist Carl Jung calls it the “shadow”. If they had not done anything wrong, they would have nothing to be afraid of.
- they will try to CONTROL you in all ways, to extraordinary extent. Control is always sick.
- they might even try to threaten you and it is all aimed at shut you up.
All of this causes you a feeling of powerlessness.
If you have ever been bullied or abused, you might have developed STRESS, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SELF-RAGE, SELF-ANGER, PTSD, and you NEED to take care of yourself and first HEAL yourself and then untangle all the patterns that cause you to still be linked with abuse – otherwise you would attract them again.