The Little Tyrant

We walk through life wondering why there are people that hurt us in the world. What would happen if we began to realize that they are not there to hurt us but to help heal us?

In many ways we walk through life not realizing how we affect others. We do not realize that one smile, action, or word kind or unkind, can move forward or undo a life.

Seemingly insignificant events can be the catalysts for huge change. It is all in how we perceive our experiences that make us who we are and dictate the changes that occur. Those we encounter help us along that journey.

This brings me to the little tyrant. These are the people who lovingly come into our lives to make it a living hell! or so it seems. In reality, it is these people in the end that make us the strongest. Teach us who it is that we are meant to be.

My belief is that we make a contract with them and they with us before we come into this lifetime. They are there to help us learn whatever it is we are meant to. In some cases it may mean the learning of letting go, or perseverance. whatever the case may be their spirit has made a deal with our spirit aid in that part of our lives where growth is necessary for us.

However, if we learn these lessons before we meet these people through other circumstances it is possible to bypass this little tyrant altogether. But if we are having trouble with these learnings we may end up enduring their ways for much longer than we may feel we need to, not realizing the necessity for it in our lives.

The important thing to remember is that if we have little tyrants, we too are the little tyrants of others. We willing or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly, are or have been, the perverbial thorn in someone else's side too.

This doesn't mean we are hurting someone, it could just mean that because we may think,
act or live a certain way that is difficult for the other person to understand it. We pull them out of their comfort zone.

A gay child whose parents are intolerant to their life choices could be considered the little tyrant of the family. An abusive husband or wife could be considered a little tyrant to the spouse needing to learn strength and letting go.

Many that I have encountered who have been able to thank their little tyrants, have been the ones who have been able to step back and grow. They have been able to have the courage to dig deeply within themselves and ask what it is they need to learn.

The abused spouse may begin to ask why they need to be in that abusive relationship and find that they are afraid of standing up to bullies and have been all their lives, propelling them into the knowledge that they are adults now and bullies can be walked away from.

The intolerant parent may ask why it is that they cannot accept the choices and lifestyles of others and find that they have found none acceptance in their lives somewhere and are afraid of this for their child. This shift from non-acceptance to compassion may create deep understanding and a more loving and supportive relationship. Likewise the child may learn that self acceptance is more important than any other they may receive no matter who it is from.

When we realize that the little tyrant is there to help us, then we grow past our prejudices and our fears and are able to embrace them for who they are or have been to us in our lives.

Think for a moment of a person in your life that you perceive has caused you "grief". Then take a moment to think of what you learned or are learning from that relationship. then say thank you.

Now think of who you perceive you may have been a little tyrant to. Think of what it is they may have learned from you. Again, say thank you.

In both circumstances we are practicing the art of forgiveness and gratitude. we are forgiving our little tyrant and ourselves for what it is we perceive they have done to us or we have done to them, and finding gratitude to them and ourselves for what actually was or has been going on in that moment or period of time.

I would also like to note that I use the word perceive in the prior paragraph simply because situations are all in how we choose to see them.

In doing this we are also breaking the contract. we are saying, "I have learned what it is I need to learn and now it is time to move on. "

This may mean the little tyrant leaves your life, but it may also mean that the relationship may change. Why does this happen? Once your contract is fulfilled with them then it must reshape in someway. Their spirit was only giving you what you needed and now that this has been done, its off to the next level of the relationship whatever that may mean or shape it may take.

Many people are surprised that they are at such peace once they see the learning. They are able to easily move away from the relationship or it effortlessly takes on the new form. Once the learning is in place all fear dissipates. This is how we know that the contract is over. We are no longer in conflict. This may not be the case of the other party, but we have learned what we need to and they will in like kind when the time is right for them.

They may still have to learn something we are not contracted to help them with, this is ok. If we are meant to be a part of their life we will be. If not, then we will be at peace with the outcome of moving apart.

The H'oponopono is an integral part of the work I do to aid in the release of contracts. It is based on the idea that we are here to learn from each other.

It not only releases both parties from the contracts they hold with each other, but also helps us take responsibility for our part in the situation and find gratitude in it.

These 5 statements are some of the most powerful healing tools I use with people. It can be used at anytime to create peace in a situation or enhance an already good one.

I am sorry,
I love you,
forgive me,
_______________ (the person's name)
thank you.

In these words we are saying, I am sorry that the two of us have to learn whatever we needed to in this way with each other.

I love your spirit for doing this for me.

Forgive me my part in it. We all have our share in each situation and in this statement we are taking our share of the responsibility for it. We may not even know what the learning is, but it doesn't matter because it is there and we have our fifty percent.

the person's name.

Thank you. In essence we are saying good bye. By saying thank you we are letting their spirit know that the contract, whatever it may be, is over, even if we do not know what that contract is. It says that we need to move on and its okay now, they no longer need to do this dance with us anymore.

When we say these powerful statements in our hearts or out loud they are a signal to the universe that it is time to let go of this situation and we are ready for the next events of growth in our lives.

Whatever the case may be, our little tyrants are a gratitude in our lives. If we can see this and find a way to embrace it our own spirit will deepen. This too will carry over to others in time as we encounter them and share our little tyrant experience either through story, or simply by being and living in the new self we have become thanks to them.