It is usually really simple to know newly married couples from the way they relate with each other. They are usually into themselves, smiling, touching and just enjoying one another's company. The general thing is that this attitude declines as the years progress. The older couples who still love themselves, just relate more like friends. It is not normal to find them still relating like new couples.

I usually find it hard to process the fact that the very couple that are now at each others' throat are the same couple that were all over themselves when they just got together. What became different about the union? If not the relationship, did the people themselves change?

It's very common to hear couples who come for marriage counseling saying how that the other person is not the same as when they got married. Do people actually change like that?

As far as I am concerned, I do not subscribe to the fact that people change. The issue I think is a failure to really get to know the real person. People generally get emotional and carried away. Marriage has a way of forcing you to see everything there is to see about an individual. You may now begin to wonder if you made a mistake. There might or might not have been a mistake on your part.

One thing that has always been a general mistake is looking for a perfect individual. Attempting to find all the traits you are searching for in one individual is a futile attempt. When you expect perfection, all you can expect is disappointments. People who have come to know and understand their own imperfections find it easier to live with the imperfections of others.

What is your response to shows of imperfection in your spouse? This is one very important matter. Lot's of people just decide to go find the mirage called perfection. This leads to extra marital affairs. One thing that generally happens is that people see themselves wishing they had some of the traits of the former person in the new person.

The first thing you need to have a great marriage is to accept first that you are not perfect. Being imperfect yourself, you would be better prepared to understand the imperfections in your spouse. It is your decision to be happy with your partner regardless of the imperfections that would see you through. Your extra marital affair isn't a solution. You can be certain that your imperfection would show clearly when you decide to have an affair.

Choose to make up for your partner's imperfections. This is a choice you should make for the good of your marriage. You should go for marriage counseling if you feel it is getting too hard.

Older couples always talk about how the things that used to worry them so much about their spouse simply stopped bothering. This is why you would see divorced couples who later in their life cannot believe why on earth they got divorced.

Your marriage would only succeed when you are determined to make it work.

Author's Bio: 

There are many things marriage counseling can assist you with. One of these is extra marital affairs in your marriage