The real secret of staying positive is to go beyond any effort to think or feel positively.

Trying to keep your thoughts positive automatically creates inner conflict as you are approaching yourself and your way of thinking from a place of judgment and evaluation.

Paying attention to your current focus of thought from a place of neutrality is far more powerful.

The gift of focus is a powerful tool each of us is endowed with and it is always with us, at each moment. At each moment of your life, your focus can be at one of two places: It can be directed towards what is missing or it can be directed towards what is available.

You can focus on lack or you can focus on abundance.

You can focus on everything that is not working and not as it should be or you can working on all that is working and flowing.

Or put differently: you can be in a place of resisting your experience or in a place of embracing and welcoming it.

It´s your focus that determines where you´re coming from: from a place of love or from a place of fear.

Interestingly enough, each time you try to think positively, you most probably come from fear and resistance.

You will notice thoughts in your mind that you evaluate as negative and try to get rid of them.
You will try to escape emotions such as sadness or anger and to be in the good-feeling vibrations of joy and contentment.

While your intention to feel good is perfectly understandable, it is not sadness or anger that makes you feel bad, but your resistant attitude with respect to these emotions. As humans, we are predominantly feeling-based beings, and emotions such as sadness, anger and fear will always be part of our experience. These emotions are not the issue. Emotions are powerful energy and they are messengers. But be aware that you will not be able to hear their message if you refuse to feel and experience them.

Every emotion tells you something about your past, but as well about your focus of thought right now. If you feel stressed-out and worried, this means that you are in the grip of fear. Nothing more is needed at that moment than becoming aware of your focus and gently allowing it to shift on the truth of your being. You will feel immediate relief.

Fear is an emotion, but it speaks to you through words as well. This voice of fear is the part of you that has constructed a false identity based on struggle, lack and the disallowance to be who you are.

Whatever this voice tells you may seem completely out of the context of fear to you. It may even sound empowering, as it may speak of success and achievement to you, of everything you want to have, be and do. It may convince you of the importance of staying positive all the time, in your thoughts, your actions, your feelings. Whatever it tells you may make perfect sense to you.

But still it comes from a place of resistance. From a conviction deep within you that you simply are not good, loved and accepted the way you are and must work hard and long to finally become the person you want to be.

Remember that it is your vibration that determines your experience. And whenever you´re resisting parts of yourself, you´re coming from fear, so fear is what you will be sending out. And more fear, more resistance, is what will be drawn back to you.

Fear will gladly sail under whatever colour you´re offering it, be it personal development, spiritual growth, empowerment. It does not care about the labels and neither should you. Just be aware that whatever endeavor you participate in, the only thing that truly matters is your inner focus. Do you focus on your flaws, shortcomings and failings, on every part of you that should be improved or fixed? Or are you in alignment with who you truly are and whatever you do is fuelled by inspiration and enthusiasm?

Being in alignment with who you truly are does not mean to stop evolving and growing. It means to grow and evolve in the only way that is truly beneficial - through love and allowance, instead of fear and resistance.

Author's Bio: 

Benedikt Dommes is a pioneer in the field of bliss coaching, an expert in inner peace, and a gifted author, mainly in the field of spirituality and self-development. His first language is German, but he is equally at ease with English and French.
To learn more about his work, go to his website or email him directly at