The Ego at Work: Eight Ego Beliefs That Hold Us Back

The word "ego" is used here to refer to the collection of thoughts and beliefs that people identify with and regard as who they are. It’s the basis of the idea of a self separate from everything else. So the word is used here as it is in spiritual wisdom traditions. It is neutral - a natural survival mechanism. The ego is not "wrong", but has a downside which can hinder success if we are not aware of that downside. The ego has many subtle and not so subtle payoffs such as pride and a sense of superiority. But the rewards of letting go of these payoffs are much greater than the costs. Tremendous individual and organisational energy and resources are consumed by the ego game. The more that this energy can be released for genuine productivity, the greater the reward for the organisation and the individual. In contrast, egotistical behaviour tends to undermine the structural integrity of any organisation. In Egonomics David Marcum and Steven Smith give a startling estimate of how much the ego may be costing organisations:

Over half of businesspeople estimate ego costs their company 6 to 15 percent of annual revenue; many believe that estimate is far too conservative. But if ego were only costing 6 percent of revenue, the annual cost of ego, as measured by the people working to produce that revenue, would be nearly $1.1 billion to the average Fortune 500 company.

So how can we we address this? The key is to be aware of the ego’s games. The more blatant displays such as aggression are easy to spot. This article therefore focuses on the more subtle aspects. The ego is in everyone - self awareness is therefore the first step in addressing it. Here are some examples:

1)  I have my OWN achievements

Whilst performance management needs some kind of individual accountability (to prevent those without integrity not delivering what they have contracted to do), very little in the workplace is really achieved by an individual apart from the organisation or wider context they work in. What is the manager without those being managed? What is the trader without the market place they operate in? You might say, well yes, the individual achieves nothing by themselves, but there is surely no harm in people focusing on their own achievements anyway? But the issue is, there can be harm. Others, who don't feel their contribution to success is recognised, may feel less motivated. Crediting success down to a "me", can prevent us looking at the specific ingredients (e.g. attitudes, behaviours, strategies) that others can learn from.

Certain attitudes, behaviours, and strategies are more likely to result in success. The achievements you are most pleased with are probably the results of those attitudes, behaviours and strategies. By depersonalising the process, by focusing on the ingredients of success rather than a mythical separate "me" you can think in terms of attitudes, behaviours and strategies that can be shared with others. They can learn from the approach you used, which means those around you can be more successful and help you be more successful in turn. So be pleased with the achievements, and work out and learn from (and share) what made them work. But it's not about "you", it is about what works.

2)  The way I PERCEIVE things are how they actually are – my view is right, others are wrong

People mistake their perception for reality. The problem is, our perception is filtered through many factors including our environmental conditioning, experiences, beliefs, values and our sense of identity. And much of the time we have no awareness of these filters. So for example, the person who has invested their identity in a project, may be loathe to bring it to a halt even if the evidence shows it is a waste of resources.

Not only is "my" view considered reality, but those who disagree must then be wrong. Once we go down this road, we will then tend to focus selectively on the evidence that enables us to continue enjoying the payoff of being "right", and ignore that which could make us "wrong."

The tendency to perceive one's view as right can be a major challenge in international diplomacy where people forget other countries' have very different world views and priorities.

3)  MY efforts CAUSE results – therefore the results of the job are MINE

The issue is similar to the first point (the myth of individual achievement). The ego tends to think in a very linear fashion. X action causes y result. It is less effective in taking account of context. This can waste immense resources pursuing the same strategy in a different context. If you do the same thing in different circumstances you are really doing something different. So if there is a success, it is worth, as well as looking at the attitudes, behaviours, and strategies that worked, looking at the context in which this happens. How many "fantastic" marketing campaigns have failed in a different cultural context? How many "certain" investment strategies have performed abysmally in a different economic context? How many previously successful approaches to restructuring have failed in a new context of higher expectations and changed morale?

4)  There is a RIGHT ANSWER to every issue.

The ego thinks that every issue has a single "right answer". The issue of context makes this unlikely e.g. cultural factors can affect the success of different economic strategies in different countries. But perhaps more significantly, often the issue/ question has not been framed correctly in the first place, making a correct answer impossible. So the ego - attached to the way the question was originally framed, may try and insist on finding the answer to, for example, the right way to sell this product or service, when sales have been in decline. Whereas the problem may be that the product is no longer right for the current context (e.g. gas lights after the invention of the electric lightbulb). So the right question would be how to create the right product for this new market.

5)  Others SHOULD recognise "my" work

Clearly one will seek to get recognition for what works and that one played a part in it. But the whole notion of "should" can lead to layer after layer of resentment. It is actually just an assumption and projection. One can think in terms of "I want recognition", which avoids the blame and accusation inherent in "should". Perhaps, even more constructively, one might focus on gaining recognition for all the ingredients of success, so it can be replicated by others, rather than gaining recognition for "me".

The more we want or expect people to recognize, appreciate or be dazzled by how smart we are, the less they listen, even if we do have better ideas. (David Marcum and Steven Smith, Egononmics)

6)  I must have / express a VIEW on everything

There is much wisdom in not knowing. Indeed, listening and asking questions are powerful leadership tools. They show respect for other's opinion. Not having a view on everything also demonstrates that you are focusing your energy on what actually matters to you.

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing. (Socrates).

7)  If only everyone else was LIKE ME, it would all be great

Here's a scenario, the top sales person neglects to help others, saying if they were all as good as him business would be great for everyone. This ignores the fact that their lack of helping others is part of the problem.

Another example. If there is conflict, the ego always assumes the other person is "wrong" and if only the other person was " reasonable like me" there would be no problem. Looked at from a larger perspective, the separation between "me" and the "other", I.e. personalising the process, is always mistaken. Conflict is a process, comprised of specific attitudes, beliefs and behaviours, and its resolution depends on overcoming the notion of separation. Resolution depends on communicating across world views.

8)  I must always win.

To the ego, losing is dying. (Of course in the evolution of animal life, losing often did mean death). Whereas actually, one's best interests may be served by "losing the battle so as to win the war". One door shuts, another opens. Unrealistic expectations of constantly being seen to win creates immense stress in oneself, and can also have a similar effect on the surrounding team. It also leads to a lack of openness; someone else might have a better idea than "yours", you won't see this if your viewpoint always has to win.

Copyright - Tony Cash (Consultant and Coach)
Further information is available at www.cashconsulting.co.uk