The Art of Body Language

Body language is the most under-appreciated form of non-verbal communication. How can this be? Well the answer is rather simple. How can a person appreciate something that they do not understand or know how to utilize? Do you know who is the biggest culprit? Males! Now I am probably going to get a lot of emails telling me of how wrong this is, but it is far from this. Before you log into your email, consider one question. Which sex uses body language the most, and in all its forms? The answer is females. If they use it more often then males, then they would probably have a better eye for body language. A males main tool to initiate body language is his eyes, which are usually accompanied by subtle face gestures. This is why males tend to be better at it then females. On the other hand, females use all the forms of body language. Not to say that males don't, but it is not as common.

Women are the 'masters' of body language. The type of body language used by women depends on the personality of that individual women. Shy and quiet women usually use more subtle forms of body language, which hinders a mans ability to tell whether or not body language is being used. With these type of women, the initial reads are hard. However, if you get to know that woman, then over time comfort while remove this inability to produce readable body language. An out-going and playful women is not subtle at all when it comes to using body language. They use it more liberally and is very easy to notice. They are very flirtatious with their non-verbal communication, and could escalate to slight caressing.

Since I mentioned it, I will briefly explain the use of a light touch. This touch sends signals up to receptors in a man's brain, which releases euphoric neurotransmitters. In doing so, the man feels a sensation of happiness, comfort, acceptance and attractiveness all in one, hence the euphoric state. The trick is that you want to leave them wanting more, therefore leave this slight caressing to a minimum. Not enough to make them drool, but not too little that they do not feel teased.

What are the main tools a women has that she uses to show body language? This question is similar to me asking someone how to determine how big a person's net worth is. The number one answers is their ASSETS. The same answer applies to women and their use of body language; however, this is far from the only thing they use. How do women use their assets? A major way is by revealing a little skin. Men go internally crazy when they see a little skin. However, everything has to be applied in moderation too. Too much revealed skin can be seen as attention craving; where as too little can be seen as being up tight. The following are a couple of ways in which women use sex appeal to show body language:

1) Body Contour
Women that normally use this have a nice, voluptuous body. They use the contours of their body to tell how they are feeling. They try to increase the arch of their body to amplify its affect on the person who she is trying to grab their attention. This is a personal favourite of mine because it shows off the natural beauty of a woman's body, similar to that of a sculpture. Why did I start with the body? Studies show that the first judgment a male passes on a female without seeing facial features is the body. Usually, if they do not like what they see then they move onto the next woman; however if they do then they move onto the other assets of the breasts and rear-end. Ladies, when I say "if they do not like what they see", this is not eluding to body type, different men have different tastes therefore if you do not fit their cirteria then they move on. My philosophy is that EACH and EVERY woman is uniquely beautiful, it just takes the right guy to discover it.

2) Body Position
Usually, if woman are self-conscious about their body, they will use what they believe is to be the best asset that they have. They may use their breast, rear-end or even legs. Now this all depends on the preference of the guy as well. Some men favour one asset over the other and can make the difference whether a man shows interest back to your body language. Woman that like to flaunt their breasts will wear low cut shirts, those that like to flaunt their rear-end will wear tighter jeans and those that like to flaunt their legs will wear a skirt of some sort. Just to prove a point, the next time you go out for lunch with some friends go to a Moxie's, Keg or some sort of bar-lounge atmosphere. Guess what all the cocktail waitress do? They flaunt all three parts mentioned above. Can you guess their main customers? MALES, what a surprise! Just a quick fact. These cocktail waitresses can make up to 5x more tips than a waitress at restaurant of equal comparison. These are crazy phenomenons, I know. This is the biggest problem I see when I help people with either their businesses or with their love lives. People look for the non-obvious, I always tell them to start with the things that they know or the things that they have in this case.

For men it is a totally different ball game. You will never see them flaunt skin unless at the beach, nor will they try to make body gestures because males bodies were not made for that. Like I stated in Part 1 of this article, men mainly use their eye language to communicate non-verbally. However, the difference here is whether or not the man has the CONFIDENCE to initiate or return non-verbal communication. Firstly, a lot of men in general lack confidence so this in itself is not surprising. I will cover confidence and how to overcome its inhibition in another article because this a whole beast by itself to tame. The main reason why men are not comfortable initiating in body language is because they are not confident in their ability to understand it or how to give it back. So they will just shy away, unless they are under the influence of alcohol which is a instant confidence booster. So ladies if a man does not show any non-verbal communication back, do not be alarmed because chances are that he has no idea what he is doing. However, if you encounter a man that does show it back but is absolutely horrible at it, give him a chance because this is easily fixable. It is easier to teach a man body language than it is to teach them how to be confident. Therefore, think of yourself as a teacher, and you are teaching your student, the man, how to conduct proper body language. As well as, it helps the man learn what to look for in the future so that they are not as clueless.

As you may have noticed I am gradually progressing towards actual initiation or what I call 'engagement' of a person that you are attracted to, whether it be to their physical appearance, or to their perceived personality. It is very important to take it step by step because a lot of people when they sell dating advice, they just tell you the "how-to", but the dating world is so volatile because as I said before every situation is unique but the patterns shown are eternal. A person selling a product would have started at the initiation of a individual. But how do you do that without first understanding out how they think and what they do to show that they are interested in you. This small aspect is HUGE, it is almost like going fishing without bait. Good luck catching any fish;)!