What is the deciding factor for a rapid-fire thinker? Is it education? Is it peer relationships? Is it the right meds?

I believe that the tipping point between solid, grounded life success and shaky, scary failure is how you feel about yourself. Self-esteem is the core issue of ADHD and determines whether you will go on and succeed or struggle for the rest of your life.

In other words, we all get into messes. We create pain for ourselves. This applies to everyone in the world. The difference between success and failure is the difference between saying, “I’m a goof-up” or “I’m strong enough to overcome this.”

I woke up this morning and I said, “Self-love is what I’ve been trying to figure out my whole life: We’re here on this earth to learn how to love. That’s it. It’s not about making money. It’s not about finding a mate. It’s not about playing or working or buying.” We complicate life when we make it about anything except learning how to love.

When a rAfter (rapid-fire thinker) “gets” the true course of life, they get clarity. When you know what you’re looking for, you can find it. So, if your boss is mad at you for doing a sloppy job and you’re afraid you’re going to lose your house or get your car repossessed, it’s good to know how to assess the situation. Here are five basic truths that I have discovered as I climbed along the critical landscape that comes with being a rAfter in this world.

Number One:
Your mind controls your body and your spirit controls your mind. So, if your brain is taking you out for a spin without your permission, you can rein it in through a deeper force.

Number Two:
Whatever you are experiencing in your life, you created it. Whether it’s deep loneliness, a controlling partner, poverty or wealth, health or sickness – you made it. Take hold of that idea. You are not a victim. You are not “lucky.” You are the bottom line. You made choices and you made your current circumstances. If you believe in reincarnation as I do, it helps to understand how for every action, whether in this life or a previous life, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Number Three:
If you created your current circumstances, you have the power to change your circumstances. The first step to successful change is vision. Create a vision in your imagination. Write it down and revisit it at least once a day. Believe in yourself. A vision is not, “I am able to focus and succeed in ballet.” A vision is you onstage during Swan Lake moving with all of the confidence of a successful dancer. For rAfters, creating visions is fairly easy. We can create 10 visions a minute. The tricky part is owning our one true vision, believing that we can and will see it manifest.

Number Four:
Being married is being comfortable being uncomfortable. If you want to change things then you have to live with change. You have to get married to your vision and accept that it’s going to feel like crap sometimes. Some rAfters like to use argument as a multi-purpose tool. They need to feel important so they argue a point, no matter how minor, no matter how little they know about it.

It goes like this: Need to feel engaged with another person? Argue with them – prove your point-be right. It’s easier than letting down your guard and talking about your feelings. Need to make conversation? Argue. Have the better understanding or the better idea. When you can talk fast and think fast it’s easier to argue than it is to be real.
When you decide to be real and stop arguing you will feel deeply uncomfortable. That’s just the way it is…for a while. Stick it out to discover that the joy of this new way of being far outweighs the discomfort. I promise!
The thing is that when we begin to change, the people around us often get upset and try to stop us. This makes us even more uncomfortable. For example: You decide to become a top performer on your job. You get a coach to help you change your habits. You stop fooling around at work. Your vision is to become a master at your trade and to move on to even more challenging work. If you’re a rAfter, you’re likely to quickly surpass everyone else, including your boss. Suddenly, your friends at work are telling you you’re weird. Your boss is saying things like, “Don’t try so hard.” What’s that all about?

Get comfortable being uncomfortable and keep going.

Number Five:

Author's Bio: 

Carol Gignoux, M.Ed. is a well established expert within the ADHD coaching, consulting and training profession with over 35 years experience working with ADHD and over 16 years as a professional coach. Carol and her team of experts specialize in coaching adults, couples, small business owners, and entrepreneurs who want to move beyond their issues, and develop the skills and confidence to achieve better results in their academic, professional, and personal lives. For more information, please visit http://www.addinsights.com