Tap Away Anger

by Lindsay Kenny, EFT Master, Pro EFT Master

This article presumes that you have a foundation of EFT. If not then please read about it on our website at www.ProEFT.com There is a wealth of information there, especially on the Free Stuff, Media, and FAQs pages. Be sure to download our “Tapping Chart” there. You will get more out of this article by knowing more about tapping. For more info on “The Power of 10s” the series from which this article came, please visit us at www.Powerof10s.com

Grrrrrrrrr! Don’t you have someone or something that just drives you batty? Someone who pushes your buttons or whom you just can’t stand? Or is it someone who has really hurt you, disappointed you or really ticked you off? It’s natural to occasionally feel that way about someone. Not everyone can be as affable, considerate or as wonderful as you and I, right? It’s also normal to occasionally get mad at politicians, the government, the utility company or some other outside force.

If you carry around that anger, however, it can hurt you. Seldom does your anger at someone else hurt him (or her). It hurts you -- physically, mentally and emotionally. Anger causes the hypothalamus to release tiny little proteins called peptides. The peptides then become attached to our cells like little magnets. Our bodies then become “addicted” to those attachments, seeking more and more anger to feed them.

People who often explode in hostile rages or who sit around fuming over every slight, real or not, may be making themselves sick. Dr. Redford Williams, a researcher in behavioral medicine at Duke University Medical Center says, "Our studies indicate that anger is right up there with any other health hazard we know about."

Research suggests that chronic anger is so damaging to the body that it ranks with cigarette smoking, obesity and heart a high-fat diet as risk factors for early death.
LK: what is this quote? see underlined
When people are angry they can’t think straight and therefore don’t make the best decisions. Their concern becomes about getting revenge, being right, or punishing another person with their wrath. Judgment is impaired when we’re livid about something so we often say and do things we later regret. You know the drill. Anger can really eat at you… especially when it becomes chronic. So let’s tap it away.

Here are the simple steps to Tap Away Anger:

1. First, imagine a big, burlap bag in front of you. Put all of the anger you have about one issue or toward one person (or entity) in to that bag. You may need two or more bags, but stuff it all in there. Do not put all of your anger about everything in your life into one bag, however. Limit it to one subject or person at a time.

For instance have a bag just for ONE of the following things:

• Anger and resentment toward a particular person who has lied to you, disappointed you or hurt you
• Anger at having to pay taxes
• Anger and resentment toward your ex for a myriad of things
• Anger at irresponsible politicians (or other public workers or agencies)
• Anger, hurt, resentment toward family members
• Anger at yourself for whatever (being fat or in debt or lazy)
• Anger at a school, company or church (or their representatives) for rejecting you or disappointing you
• Anger at all of the men or women who have broken your heart

Get the idea? Pick one focus for your anger… for now. You can do other bags once you get the hang of it. Notice that anger is almost always accompanied by resentment. It’s also often accompanied by frustration, betrayal or hurt feelings. So feel free to put all of the anger related emotions about your issue in the bag too.

2. Give the bag of anger a vivid name. This bag of anger at my sister… My anger at Eric for ALL of the rotten things he’s done to me… This anger and resentment toward stupid, immoral politicians… or just This bag of anger and resentment toward myself.

Make sure the name is descriptive and meaningful for you.

3. Give the entire “Bag of (Whatever)” an intensity rating from 10 to 1. When you concentrate all of your anger and resentment toward one person, incident or entity, into one place, what would the combined charge be?

4. Do a Reversal Neutralization on any subconscious resistance to letting go of the anger. This REALLY important to do.

Note: If you’re not familiar with SBS Reversals and how to neutralize them (this is not the traditional EFT psychological reversals,) read my e-booklet on Reversals for more clarity about this important subject. Or watch this You Tube video about it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArhFM3BX04I

To neutralize Reversals about letting go of your anger, simply do this: While tapping on the Karate Chop point say one of the following statements three times. Or you can say three or four of the statements one time each:

• Even though I don’t want to let go of this anger, for whatever reason, I do want to love and accept myself.
• Even though I don’t want to get over this anger because I want to punish (person’s name) with it, I accept myself anyway.
• Even though I don’t want to let (person’s name) off the hook by releasing this anger, I want to respect who I am.
• Even though I want to punish (person’s name) with my anger, I still love and accept myself.
• Even though I’m not letting this go and YOU can’t MAKE me, I’m still a pretty good person.

Note: The negative wording is very important in a Reversal statement in order to eliminate the resistance to letting go. It’s also important to know that a Reversal Neutralization does not fix the issue; it only fixes the impediment to fixing an issue. You’ll still need to tap on it.

After neutralizing the Reversal (Step 4) shake your hands out, as if you were shaking water off of your fingertips.

Now, “Tap Away the Anger”

5. On the Karate Chop point, do a simple set-up statement such as: Even though I have ton of anger in this “bag” I still accept myself (sometimes.)

6. Do one to three “rounds” on the meridian points shown below, saying some of the following statements or statements of your own. Doing it this way helps cover different aspects of the issue. Find the tapping chart for the below points on our Free Stuff page.)Abbreviations of tapping points:

EB = beginning of Eye Brow
SE = Side of Eyes
UE = Under Eyes
UN = Under Nose
CH = Chin
CB = Collarbone
UA = Under Arms
WR = Wrists
TH = Top of Head

Now tap while saying these phrases or ones applicable to your anger:

EB This big bag of anger (use the name of your bag)
SE How could she behave like that?
UE I can’t believe she would hurt me like that
UN So much anger toward her
Ch This anger and resentment toward Nicole
CB All of this anger, hurt and resentment
UA This bag of negative feelings toward her
LP All of those times she’s disappointed me
WR I almost hate her
TH I want to punish her with my anger

Note: It doesn’t matter what point you use which phrase. Just vent how you feel about it, or what he/she/they did to you.

7. After doing the first one to three rounds above check back in with yourself to see what the intensity level is now or see what the size of the bag is, then write it down. Then do two or three more rounds about whatever else comes up regarding your anger, adding some desire statements, such as:

EB This remaining bag of anger at ______________
SE I want to let it go
UE No I don’t
UN Yes I do
Ch It’s hurting me not him/her
CB I do want to release it
UA This whole bag of anger and resentment
LV How she/he treated me was unfair
WR But I want to forgive her
TH No I don’t!

Next round:

EB Yes I do!
SE It’s not worth it
UE I want to move on
UN All of this anger that’s been eating me up
Ch I was justified in being hurt
CB It was their fault, not mine
UA But the anger is hurting me not them
LV So I’m willing to release it, for my own sake
WR I want to let go of it
TH I allow myself to let it go

8. Keep repeating this pattern until you can choose to let it all go. The goal is to get to a zero on all anger, resentment, frustration or other negative emotions around this issue. If you get stuck, do a few rounds using the Reversal phrases. If your number stays the same it’s likely that you are resisting letting go of the anger. Vent about that, saying how you don’t want to let it go. Be persistent until you’re at a zero. Just feeling “better” isn’t good enough.

9. Test your results. When you’re at a zero, check in to see if the bag of anger has been collapsed or is empty. See it blowing away. Try to get upset or angry again to make sure you are clear of all of the aspects. If there’s any charge on any part of the issue, or if the bag isn’t completely gone, keep tapping. If you can’t get there, find a competent practitioner to help you resolve your anger. It might be more complex than you first thought.

10. Now, tap a round or two saying some positive feelings or thoughts, such as:

I’m bigger than this.
I’m glad to be over i.t
I’m proud I did something about it.
I’m a survivor.
Good for me!
I feel better now.
I even want to forgive them for hurting me.
I choose to forgive him/her/it, even if it’s for my own sake.
I choose to learn from this and move on.
I choose to forgive myself for the role I might have played in this.
I choose to reclaim my power!

Doing this process doesn’t mean you’ll never get angry again. But you won’t be piling new disappointments onto a pile of existing rubbish. When you get upset or angry about anything, allow yourself a minute or so to fume over it, then vent while you’re tapping on it. You can make yourself right about it, be indignant about it and handle the anger and resentment all at the same time. It’s for your own good, as your mother probably used to say to you. 

Good Luck, and Good Tapping,
Lindsay Kenny, www.ProEFT.com

Author's Bio: 

Lindsay is an EFT Master, Life Coach, EFT/AAMET Certified Trainer of Trainers and has been helping people lead happier, more productive lives for over 35 years. She has been doing EFT and Pro EFT (Progressive EFT) since 2000 and has worked with over 2000 clients. Lindsay is also founder of the National Alliance for Emotional Health.

Lindsay offers private sessions by phone with people from all over the world, or in person in the San Francisco Bay area. She also teaches progressive tapping in workshops, teleclasses, and webinars. Her courses include, EFT Levels 1-3, the “Ultimate Practitioners Workshop”, weight loss clinics, Abundance Workshops, Train the Trainer Courses and a 9-day Practitioner’s Intensive.

Lindsay can be reached via e-mail at LKcoaching-SelfGrowth@yahoo.com or by phone at 888-449-3030.