As a holistic life coach and spiritual counselor for both individuals and couples, as well as an avid student of my own personal growth for many, many years- I have come to the conclusion that one of the most important things we can do to increase satisfaction in our relationships with ourselves and others is to take personal responsibility for what is ours.

It is all too easy to project our unhealed wounds onto others when we are triggered by old stuff or are feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed. Consistently looking at where our feelings are coming from and what they are showing us about ourselves can help us to see where we are not in alignment with our truth. Doing this before we react to something that is triggering us can prevent us from inflicting unnecessary harm onto innocent bystanders. When we get clear on our feelings before we respond, we can respond consciously and from choice. If our truths are in fact being infringed upon, we may need to speak up. On the other hand, if there is nothing particularly off in the current situation, but we are experiencing strong emotional reactions to it, perhaps there is more personal work we need to do to get to the root of the intense emotions we are feeling.

In either case, taking responsibility for what we are bringing to the table both in action and in energy is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, our relationships, and the planet as a whole. The more we tackle our fears and wounds with courage and bravery, the freer we become, as we inspire others to do the same. The peace we wish to see in our world starts in ourselves. The more we are willing to confront and allow for our dark or angry feelings and listen to what they are showing us, the more of our wholeness we can reclaim. The more whole we are, the more we are able to make our choices consciously and create the world we dream of. So write, pray, meditate, work with a counselor, or do whatever else helps you to work with your feelings and triggers in a safe space, away from others you may accidentally project upon.

In the midst of a world gone crazy, remember that you can do something about it. Become a student of yourself and align with whatever benevolent source of love that you believe in. Learn to love yourself and others while also taking responsibility for yourself, and then let others take responsibility for themselves. Clear out the garbage and the untruths that you’ve picked up along the way, and get back to who you really are, underneath it all. Who are you, without the fear, blame, guilt, and shame? How do you choose to express yourself? Uncover the essence of your being, take responsibility for what you have and are creating in your life, and move toward creating the life you imagine.

Author's Bio: 

Amanda Dobra Hope, D.Hlc., M.Div., and Evolutionary Pioneer, currently serves as a Non-Denominational Minister, Holistic Counselor, Writer, Teacher, and Wedding Officiant. She is passionate about helping others uncover their true inner selves so that all have a chance to give their unique gifts in a world that works for everyone. Find her at