Suspect Words and Maintaining Our Mental Health

Words and how we say them are extremely important because they form our thoughts, perceptions and beliefs which determine our behaviors and eventually result in the way we live our lives. This can't be denied whether the words are hopeful and and give encouragement, or are negative mutterings that rob us of happiness and confidence.

The words we speak consistently are partly responsible for where we are in our careers and personal relationships.

This fact should prompt us to become more aware of our words, and when needed, change them so that we can start getting the results we truly expect and desire.

Most of the following words are spoken far too often and result in problems and barriers to overcome..

- Maybe
This word indicates uncertainty and lack of determination. Using the word maybe is a hindrance to a direct course of action. For example, "Maybe I'd better wait till... "maybe" should not be used frequently. Instead use "I will" or "I will not" Hearing the more positive words projects feelings of confidence and determination which are essential to our growth .

-Should
Any statement which uses the word "should" indicates one is not doing what is good or right and can create guilt feelings.. "I should go back to school," or I should go to church can actually make you feel guilty for not going. Choose, is a good replacement word, or I choose not to go to church today."

- Can't
This word is primarily responsible for failure and goals left undone. Consider eliminating this word from your vocabulary and you will see a significant positive change in your life.

- Soon or Later
Both are indefinite and indicate a lack of commitment. These can be change with a specific date/time. People who say they are going to do something soon or later on are usually avoiding what ever they are suppose to be doing. Your integrity is compromised when these words are used often..

- Someday
Someday, is indefinite, and when it is used shows lack of commitment. Someday is Today or Friday or June 15th..

- Never
This word suggests a closed mind, which seriously limits our self-growth. The word "never" should practically never be used

- Won't
The word "won't" suggests a reluctance to do something and like the word "never," it can be harmful because it closes the door on many of the behaviors we need to achieve our goals.

- If
This is a small but powerful word that carries doubts and uncertain outcomes, and if spoken often, it lowers our confidence and self esteem

- Try or (I'll Try)
"I'll try indicates one may not be able to follow thru and complete a task. Much better is "I will."

Lack of self-confidence and low self esteem develop because we have a negative subconscious belief about ourselves. This causes us think something is wrong with us... The first step to healthy feelings about ourselves and success in business is to prevent accumulating negative subconscious beliefs. In order to do that we have too question our own beliefs and the beliefs of others.

For example, if someone says something negative towards you, or you have a negative thought... ask yourself whether it is really true. In most cases you will find that by changing your perception of the situation, you will no longer feel bad about something! Also remember that although adults are better at not letting others dictate how they feel about themselves [when someone is degrading them] they are not immune to it. This is because we naturally place greater emphasis on information we hear from friends, authority figures and society. So if any of these are making you feel inadequate, start to question why this might be. Often we behave just like children, and accept whatever these people say to our own detriment .

Don't make the mistake of associating how you feel about yourself, with your abilities and accomplishments Otherwise whenever you don't perform something well, you will feel as though there is something wrong with you... or that you are just not good enough This does not mean you shouldn't feel satisfaction and pleasure from the things you do in life, but rather to have more control over how you feel. Instead of letting someone or something else decide for you .

The good news is that we were not born feelings of low self esteem, at some stage in life we learned these feelings, which means we can unlearn them.

One very effective way is to monitor and control your thoughts. Reject the negative beliefs that come into your mind...by replacing them with positive thoughts. This is what some people call "Self Talk" which is the thoughts you have and how you talk to yourself. Self talk is often a reflection of the type of negative beliefs that are stored in our subconscious, and is one way in which we convert our thoughts to beliefs. It is one thing to have a passing thought that I might not be good at something or popular enough to be friends with someone... we all think those thoughts. However, to actually believe some other human being is better than us or higher [or lower] in class than us... is not only negative thinking but wrong thinking....

For example, thoughts like "I can never do that"; or "what I have to say is unimportant"... which when repeated over and over again throughout a persons lifetime, serve to deeply ingrain these beliefs into the subconscious. By stopping this negative self talk, and replacing it with positive self talk, you can repair the damage that has been done and prevent new negative subconscious beliefs from forming.

We must remember this: Our words affect our thoughts, and our thoughts influence our perceptions which in turn set the course for our actions and because of their power, we must select them with the utmost care.