So you’ve just gone through a devastating break-up. My heart goes out to you. There is nothing quite as painful as being dumped by someone you thought was the One. I know you’re probably feeling like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on and that your hopes and dreams have been shattered. Do what you have to do (within reason, of course) to grieve this loss—cry, get angry, punch your pillow, throw darts at your ex’s picture.

One thing you should not do, however, is visit, phone, email, or text you ex. You should have no contact whatsoever. Accept the fact that it is over and make a clean break. Keep your dignity intact. Trust me on this—in the long run you’ll be glad you did.

Thoughts of revenge may be going though your head, but please, don’t act on them. Don’t spread rumours, don’t betray old secrets, and don’t date or make out with his/her best friend to get even. Never resort to behaviour that you will regret in the future. Always act with class and remember that the best revenge is for your ex to see that you are doing just fine without him/her. You’ve moved on and are happy.

Keep in mind that just because someone has broken up with you, it doesn’t mean he or she no longer cares about you—it just means he/she no longer wants a relationship with you. It’s very likely that breaking up with you was just as hard on him/her as it was on you. If you take revenge, any affection that this person feels for you could turn into hatred, and any chance you may have to re-establish a relationship (even if it’s just as friends) will be shattered.

Have a pity party if you must, but do it in private. Then get off the couch, wipe those tears, and move on. It’s wise to hold off on romantic relationships for a while. Give yourself some time to heal from this relationship. Work on rebuilding your life and rekindling old friendships you might have neglected when you were in the relationship.

You may not realize it yet, but a new life has just opened up for you. While right now your break-up may seem negative, it really was all for the best. You have just been given another chance to find your Mr. or Ms. Right.

Love and blessings,
Joanne B. Parrotta
Author of A Matter of Destiny: How to Find and Marry Your Soulmate

Author's Bio: 

Motivational writer Joanne B. Parrotta is the author of A Matter of Destiny—How to Find and Marry Your Soulmate: A Beginner’s Guide (BookSurge Publishing, 2006). To learn more about this fascinating subject and to sign up for your free, instantly downloadable soulmate reports, visit her website at and

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