So much of our day is spent thinking about what we want to do, be or have. When was the last time you actually thought about what was going right and how well you were doing something? Maybe it's time you start..

Today I woke up exhausted. I have been going, going, going, with work for months now. The good part is, I love my job. The bad part is, I need to give myself permission to stop. Funny thing happens when you work a lot, you have a hard time not working. So today, I am officially proclaiming as of 12 p.m. eastern standard time, I am off the clock. Feel free to yell at me if I am on Facebook again.

Anyway, I woke up later than usual and had to concentrate on why that was okay. Normally, I am up and adam at 6:30 so it took a bit of mental energy to give myself permission for being lazy. So, I had the potential for a "Patti Beat Myself Up" session right then and there.

Okay, how was I going to give myself permission to slow down when much of how I define myself is about what I do and what I accomplish? Would I feel okay about myself if I was consciously trying not to do anything today? Hmm..this could be tricky.

Then I thought about it. So much of what we do is defined on where we want to go and who we want to become. Granted, that is the premise of goal setting. However, where do we draw the line between doing something that will positively impact our tomorrow and at the same time be in the "now" today? This is tricky one for sure.

Well, it all boils down to self acceptance in my book. Sure, you can keep going for that brass ring, but make sure you congratulate yourself on the journey and the steps you take to get there. Learn to sit back and enjoy the ride, or better, yet, enjoy taking a detour for the day. Too much go, go, go, does not always mean getting to your goals, goals, goals.

It is so important to be alone with your thoughts. Time to sit, be still and take inventory of your life. So much of our time is spent "doing" and not consciously being aware of what we are doing. And to take it step further, are we enjoying what we are doing? If so, relish in that. If not, change your action plan.

So, today I am will be "not doing" for the rest of the day. I give myself permission to say "good job" for all the hurdles I have jumped over the past year or so and I am going to give myself a gentle pat on the back for that. The reward, getting my hands dirty in my garden listening to some Motown on my Ipod which is a little piece of heaven for me.

Take the time to notice what you are doing today but most of all, what you are doing right. Take mental inventory on how you are already your "own success story." Build on those achievements to put you in a positive frame of mind for when you want to put yourself out there and try some new things, new goals.

There is no better way to move forward than to steady yourself in the present. And don't forget, it's called being present for a reason.

Keep the faith,


Author's Bio: 

Author's Bio
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1. Who is Patti?

I am a forty something single mom of two awesome kids. In the past six years, I have: separated and divorced, finished a graduate degree with honor’s, started a part-time career as a writing instructor at a local college, opened up my own business as a transition coach, and as of November 2008, became newly engaged! In addition, I have finished my basic training to become part of a collaborative law team.
As you can see, it has been quite an eventful few years! However, I have never felt more fulfilled in my life.

2. How did I do it?

I can honestly tell you that I have utilized many of the same principles I learned in graduate school (I have a Master’s of Arts in Teaching) and applied them to my life. I thought, “What are my goals? Where do I want to be in one year – two years – five years? How am I going to get there?” (Think of this as being your own tutor!)
Like a teacher does with her class, I wrote out my lesson plans on how to achieve those goals. Hour-by-hour, day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month, slowly but surely, I kept my eye on those goals and made sure that I kept forging ahead, even on the days I barely could get out of bed. (On those days, I gave myself a gold star for even making myself a pot of coffee or going to the dry cleaners!)

This is a true testimony on how you can use a crisis to create a new path for your future. That is what I did. I took all the pain and suffering I had during my divorce, turned it around into a positive learning experience.

3. What is the magic formula that makes my business thrive?

I knew that knowledge was power and the better educated I was as to what I could expect from the transition going on in my life – my transition process – the better. I wanted to be one step ahead of the game when meeting with the professionals and my goal was to be the ideal client.I wanted to use this change as a way of exploring my character and my drive.

So, I challenged myself – I wanted to get the most for my money when meeting with my lawyers and other professionals for many reasons – I wanted to save money, not waste my time talking about emotional issues during our meetings and I wanted to get it over with as smoothly (and quickly) and possible. And, most of all, I wanted to learn the tools on how to learn and grow from this time of change in my life. I didn’t want this possibly uncertain time to define who I was. I wanted to own it and move on.
In the meantime, I read and studied books on goal-setting and laws of attraction as well as countless books on people who not only survived, but thrived during times of transition (refer to recommended book list). I realized there was very little information out there on how people overcame obstacles in their lives and the techniques they had when accomplishing goals during tough times.

While I was studying and researching the various aspects of life transitioning and how to do it right, so to speak, I would reward myself with reading books on how to achieve your dreams! As a result, Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A., the Transition Coach, was created!

All you need to do is commit to wanting to move forward in a positive direction.

Let’s get started! - (50% of my coaching is done via telephone and/or online correspondence)

4. What material will we cover at your coaching sessions?

* We will find the necessary resources for you during this transition process.

* We will focus on creating a positive client-based relationship that will give you the ability to compartmentalize this transition process separate from your emotions.

* I will help you achieve your goals and find a balance between the transition you are facing and moving on with your life.

* A step-by-step plan will be devised on how to come up with an action plan towards obtaining your goals.

* By creating a road map for you to follow during this time of uncertainty in your life, we can concentrate on empowering you with the peace, self-respect and hope that may have been lost along the way.

5. Background Information and Training

A. Adjunct Writing Instructor - Brookdale Community College

* specialty: collaborative teaching and process writing approach, basic skills teacher.

* focus: instruction via academic coaching – my goal is to have the students feel academically enthusiastic and confident upon completion of the class while mastering the fundamentals of essay writing.

* areas of interest/themes of the lessons: modern day heroes, laws of attraction, life lessons with Morrie from Tuesdays with Morrie, the Pay it Forward movement, how to stay motivated in an academic world.

B. Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC – Founder

* specialty - motivational speaker, consultant, coach – business and professional.

* focus - executive coaching, social media networking, finding professional resources for clients going through transition, working as part of a legal team on assisting clients to stay-solution focused and goal-oriented, utilize proactive methods on how to navigate the waters of change – both professionally and personally, how to encourage moving forward during times of transition.

* areas of interest - Collaborative Law. Social Media and Marketing, Strategic Planning, Success Principles for Entrepreneurs.

Mediation Training- as approved by AOC for CLE hours.
Basic Collaborative Law Training – completed 6/13/09

Graduate Student - Rowan University

* candidate for M.A. In Writing - 4.0 GPA (previously obtained an M.A. in Teaching - 3.97 GPA)

Favorite Quotes:

“We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness.”

“Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity.” T.S. Eliot

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Judy Garland

“Talk about a dream, try to make it real.” Bruce Springsteen

Business Address:

Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC

Piff – Tomaro Professional Building

1704 Maxwell Drive

Suite 302

Wall, New Jersey 07719

(732) 865-5377

“Helping you find the resources you need to stay focused and balanced during professional and personal times of transition.”