The Blame Game is a game we ALL play very well and sadly enough, often. In fact, we have become such masters in it because we played the game most of our lives. We tend to blame our family, friends, spouses, neighbors, pets, co-workers, our boss, our kids, and so on and so on, just about everybody for why our lives isn’t working the way they are supposed to. And if blaming people weren’t enough, we also tend to blame non-living entities such as the government, media, nature, money, etc. for the very same reasons. It is for the very nature we feel entitled to have an amazing life that often times lead to us not having one at all.

Entitlement is a conditioned feeling we have that everyone and everything is responsible for our success. And if we are not having any of it, it’s because someone or something is responsible for our lack of happiness whether it may be in the home, work, relationships or play. We feel that our loss of a job, loss of a spouse, loss of health, loss of happiness and income, loss of respect or loss of control is something that we don’t control. We fail to see that, maybe, the real cause of why our lives isn’t working is the person who stares directly back at us in the bathroom mirror. Only one person is responsible for the quality of the life you live… YOU!

The concept of being responsible is not an easy one to accept. If you want to be successful you need to be wholly responsible for everything that goes on in your life. You and you alone are the cause of whether or not you succeed or fail. No one or nothing else is responsible. It’s not your spouse, or your boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s not the weather, your boss, the kids, the traffic, the dog, the economy, the fats in the food you eat, etc. It is you!

Being able to take full responsibility for your life gives you power! Because if you believe that you are responsible for the results than you can see that you are responsible for the change. What you’ve created in your circumstance you can un-create. What you’ve done, you can undo at will. Without seeing yourself as a source of power, you will forever be subjected to the winds of fate. You’re a leaf in the wind, a rudderless boat. Unable to control your life, you become a victim of it.

So being responsible requires that you quit playing the blame game, stop all your victim stories, and your whinings. You need to stop with all the excuses of why your life isn’t going the way it is supposed to be going. You have to give up your need to be right, you feelings of entitlement, the fears, and the ignorance. You also have to get rid of the emotions and the feelings of being a victim of a past based circumstance of what someone said or did to you that has caused you grief.

Rather you need to assume control of your life and believe that only you have the power to dictate the direction of where you life will be going and growing. What is important to believe is that what you will have from this point on in your life is what you will get to create for yourself. You are ultimately the creator of your life.

But this is where it becomes complex. Where someone else can cause an accident where you are have been hurt, it normal to conclude that other person is to blame, and rightly so. Events and circumstances like this happen to everyone of us on a day to day basis and they happen many times without our knowledge and control. So how do we manage these events and circumstances? They only way we can is through the power of personal choice. We get to control how we choose to respond to these situations. We can choose that we are either victims of circumstances or we can choose to be victors of circumstances. Feelings of victory that ultimately lead us to peace, ease, contentment and a sense of pride knowing that we have handled the situation like mature emotionally grounded individuals.

By controlling our responses by controlling your thoughts, we get to ultimately change the overall outcome. In other words by changing the feelings of our fate we can change the outcome. No longer will we be kept in fear when we remember and relive a past based memory. No longer will we allow someone else’s ill opinion or actions dictate how we feel about ourselves or our lives. No longer will we allow our circumstances to direct our lives. The winds of fate may blow us but we can still steer ourselves into the direction guided by our stars.

Author's Bio: 

Raymond A Borja
Empowered Change
Transformational Change Agent

"Empowering and inspiring a global awakening to live life with full passion."