Still In Love With My First Love After 20 Years: Thinking About Ex Years Later

If you have been separated or divorced from your ex and suddenly you realize that you are still in love, do not feel bad. Lots of people experience the same situation. There are lots of people who still love their ex and even if the ex does not admit it they would still love them. You may wonder what to do under these circumstances. Perhaps you are asking yourself if it would be a good idea to contact him and let him know your feelings, or maybe you are thinking of living your life and hope that if it is meant to be it will be.

Before you decide and take action, you first need to evaluate how your relationship ended. Maybe you are lucky and the relationship ended amicably, in which case I would still contact your ex, and speak directly to him. In case your relationship ended in a bad note then I will be more cautious of what I do. For example if you contact your ex, it could happen that he still tells you is not interested in you, or even worst he tells you he has found someone else. So if I were you I would try to find out. You may ask how? Well it can be simple, like asking your friends. Maybe they could find out through mutual friends if your ex has someone new in his life or if he still thinking of you.

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Now if you decide to contact your ex and ask him about his feelings, then if you ended in a good note there is nothing wrong with being adult and telling him that you are still in love with him, and that you made a mistake. On the contrary if your relationship ended in a bad note you could still phone him but do not ask him directly. Do not ask him if he is seeing other people. Just greet him and talk general things, ask him how he is doing. You will be able to grasp his feelings in the conversation. Now it is important that even if you do not talk directly about your feelings that you leave all the bad emotions of the past aside. Do not even talk about the past. At the same time whatever you say it must feel and be sincere. If you are not, and you are still angry about something it will not work. I know it is hard to think that you are still in love with him, and you are not sure about his feelings.

If it happens that you meet for a coffee or for a chat, remember not to talk about the past unless they want to do so. Rather talk about something fun that you have been doing, so that he can see you have a life of your own, and you are a fun person to be. If he talks about the past and he is not happy about it, then probably he does not have the same feelings for you. On the other hand the fact that he agreed to meet you for coffee it is a positive sign.

It could happen that you have a nice chat with him and you could mention that you still care for him. It is not strange to care for your ex, especially if you had connections like children. Then see how he reacts, he might tell you that he cares for you also. If so there is still hope.

If he does not say anything or you understand that he has no feelings for you any longer then don't be distressed. Yes I know is hard, but I am strong believer that things happen for a reason, and when a door closes rest assure that another one will open.

But who knows, maybe he still cares for you and he might even tell you 'I am still in love with you'

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If you find yourself saying to yourself, "I'm still in love with my ex", you aren't alone. There are many people that find themselves, when a long terms relationship ends, desperately hanging onto hope that they might be able to bring the relationship back. Even though things currently seen to be at their darkest moment and it doesn't seem like there is any hope doesn't mean there isn't any. There is still a chance that what you had can return and possibly even stronger than before. When you find yourself saying, "I'm still in love with my ex", and that you want your love back it is going to be back even stronger if you are going to be able to make it last.

If your one that finds yourself saying that you are still in love with your ex you may be yearning to turn back time and get back what was lost. Be careful of what you wish for, you might get it and have the same outcome as before.

Dig deep into the mistakes that were made before and find out not only why they were made, but also why they were able to impact your relationship the way they did. Having a sounder foundation to your relationship is what you need to do. You are going to have to start from ground zero and build your relationship from there. To get back together with the one you love, you will need to start all over again. Find a way to do it better than it was done before. Tell yourself, "I'm still in love with my ex, but I want it to be better than before."

What if your lover has moved on? Here's how to get them back.

First re-establishing a friendship. Take things slowly, if your ex gets the feeing that you are trying to move to quickly, they may be resistant to it. Don't be pushy, just let things follow their natural course. If you are destined to be together, don't worry you will. Just let it happen.

Think positively. Don't let your ex see you in a depressed state, crying about the way things have gone. You want to make yourself be a joy for your ex to come back to. If your ex sees you as being depressed, they decide that they don't want you in their life. If they see that for you, life has gone on and that you are happy, they may want to join you in your happiness.

Think of the type of person that you would want to spend your time with. Do you believe that others would want to spend their time with you? People want to be others that are happy and can brighten their day and put a smile on their face. Try to be a person that makes someone feel special. Make your ex feel special by simply being an encouraging friend.

If your ex sees you as someone valuable in their life, you may still have a chance to bring back lost love. You may also be building that strong foundation that could remain forever.

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Here are 7 easy tips to convince your ex to come back to you.

Figure out what went wrong

The first thing you need to do is identify what went wrong in your relationship. This will not only help you figure out how to repair the damage that has been done, but also make sure you don't make the same mistake twice.


See what your ex has to say. Even though the relationship is over, the feelings are still there, and you need to be mindful of their feelings. Many times relationships fail because of lack of communication, so take the time to hear them out.

Understand...See the situation from their point of view

Understand you're not the only one who is being hurt right now. The breakup more than likely took its toll on both of you, but do understand that your ex may be dealing with it differently. Maybe they aren't as expressive as you, or maybe they just have come to terms with everything that has happened.

What if your lover already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Don't be clingy...It will only push them further away

It's okay to be there and try to spend as much time with them as you can, but don't be too clingy. Sometimes all you really need is a little space between you both. So be there as much as you can, but pay attention to the signs that they may need more time than you do.

The direct approach

No need to beat around the bush at this point, and playing games may not help you win them back. So, go to them and lay it all on the line. Tell them how you feel, what you want to do and what you're willing to do to make everything work.

Talk to other couples

Even though you may feel alone, there are other couples who have not only gone through what you're going through right now, but survived it. Listen to their advice, see how they were able to manage it and save their relationship, and apply what you can to your relationship.

Trust your heart

In your heart, you know what has to be done. With all the time you spent together, you know what to do to get their attention and keep their attention. You know what they need, even if what they need is time, even if what they need is a chance to work things out on their own before they work it out with you.

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Do you love your ex deeply, and want him/her to feel the same way about you? Do you miss spending quality time with your ex? How would you like to just sit and cuddle with your ex once more, without having to argue, bicker, or resent each other? Well if you are reading this right now, then you are one of the lucky few people who is going to be able to do this in just a matter of days...

The first step to get your ex back is to give your ex space - You can call it space, or you can actually call it ignoring your ex, but whatever you call it, the message is clear: no contact for 2 weeks. This will ensure the next tactics run smoothly, and also stops your ex from taking you for granted.

The second step is to change - one of the major reasons you broke up is likely because you and your ex were not getting along, and you were doing some things which your ex did not like or vice versa. Basically no one really changed and you only became worse. So what you are going to do now, is reverse this by doing some serious self improvement on those areas of your life, this way your ex will actually want to be with you again.

The last and final step is the most important step - send your ex a message just like this one (no calling!): "so sexy, the photos are uploaded and we look great! I am so excited for Friday, I am sure it will be even more crazy than last weekend"

This message will drive your ex nuts, because he/she will instantly think you are seeing someone else, going out, having fun, socializing, and taking photos of it as well! Your ex will instantly begin stalking your profiles just to find out all the details and will call you back within 5 minutes, because he/she will be raging with jealousy.

Timing is critical when getting your ex back. Ex partners often consider a rebound relationship or just casual sex to get over you. You need to act right now. What you need is a complete, step-by-step system to take your hand and show you exactly what to do next to get your ex back in 30 days or less. For the whole system and all you would ever need to know, check it out here right now: Get Back My Ex

Author's Bio: 

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