Many singles are trying various ways to find a partner with whom to develop a satisfying intimate relationship: enroll on dating sites, seek the help of a “dating coach”, attend workshops on the subject, read books on relationships and seek relationship advice in different journals and internet sites. Yet, may are unsuccessful in seeing their dream of a satisfying relationship comes true.

Why is it so? Why do many, in spite of their longing to have a partner and develop a successful intimate relationship, find themselves, time and again, unhappy and disappointed, or simply alone?

Why are many, in spite of having read numerous books on relationships, having read various internet articles outlining tips for a happy relationship, having enrolled with a range of dating sites and having dated many “potential” others – till single?

What is it that stands in their way from finding a suitable partner and developing the relationship they so much desire?

If you are one of the many singles, it is very likely that you feel a tremendous pain as you fail, over and over again, in your attempts to develop a successful intimate relationship. Unfortunately, as long as you don’t understand why you fail, you can’t break this agonizing cycle.

What can help you succeed in developing the relationship you so much desire? What do you need to do and know – in addition to everything you have done and learned so far – in order to stop this cycle and finally succeed?

The reasons for your failures at relationships might be due to your lack of self-awareness

It is very likely that the reason for your failures is quite a simple one: you are not aware of the ways in which you shoot yourself in the foot in relationships. In other words, it is quite possible that you don’t realize, understand and acknowledge the ways in which you sabotage your attempts at relationships:

* Not being aware, you might behave in ways which are counterproductive to the development and maintenance of a successful intimacy.

* Without being aware, you might hang on to counterproductive attitudes about partners and relationships.

* As long as you lack self-awareness, you might not realize that how unrealistic your expectations about intimate relationships are, and therefore they boomerang back at you.

* It could also be that, as long as you are not aware of yourself, you are not in touch with whatever fears you might have which drive you to harm your relationships (such as: fear of commitment; fear of being alone, fear of rejection, fear of being hurt).

* Similarly, you might not be aware of whatever excessive needs you might have which drive you to behave with your partners (when you have a partner) in self-sabotaging ways (such as: the need to constantly be approved and loved; the need to always “be there” for your partner to the excess of suffocating your partner, and so on).

Developing your Self-Awareness can enable you to develop a satisfying relationship

When you become aware of whatever exerts power over you (be these your attitudes, fears, needs, unrealistic expectations and the like) and of the many ways it drives you to unconsciously sabotage your relationships, you can then de-activate its power over you, make the necessary changes and become able to develop a successful intimacy.

Author's Bio: 

Doron Gil, Ph.D., a university teacher, workshop leader, counselor and consultant, has a 30 year experience in the areas of Self-Awareness and Relationships. He has lectured widely on these and related topics at conferences world-wide, taught classes to students, gave workshops to parents and administrators and is the author of: “The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship. Available as e-book and paperback:
http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relations...