When couples begin to have problems, their first instinct is often to look at what they're not getting. They recognize that they're not happy and that they don't have the level of marriage intimacy that they want or need. This leads to introspection and wondering what it is that's missing. While this can certainly be a worthwhile endeavor if it means finding core problems and corresponding solutions, but often taking one simple step can help immediately. That step is learning to be grateful for what you have right now.

Don't get us wrong, we're not saying that you should settle and JUST be grateful for what you have. What we are saying is that if you only focus on what's wrong, what's missing and what you don't have, that's all you'll notice.

There are two main ways that gratitude can improve your marriage and your life. First of all, it's simply better on a spiritual and personal level to appreciate what you have. Take a look around you and take the time to notice the little things that you likely take for granted. Does your spouse always pick up your favorite magazine when he or she goes to the store? Are they always sure to give you the first choice when serving dinner? These little things might not seem like much on their own, but when we learn to appreciate and recognize them, our lives are filled with gratitude.

The other way in which gratitude can help is by showing your partner what's important to you. Whether they know it or not, your partner likely takes cues from you as to what pleases you. If they do little things for you on a daily basis and you stop noticing them, and appreciating them, they're likely to stop doing them for you. This might not be a conscious decision they make, but if they're doing something solely to please you and it doesn't seem to be working, why should they continue?

When you take the time to appreciate what your spouse does for you, it can lead to a greater level of marriage intimacy, as they'll likely be more receptive to your problems. If you need to have a conversation with them about something you're unhappy about, starting by telling them all the things you appreciate is likely going to get you much further than beginning by telling them the things you want to see changed. It's simply common sense that if someone feels nothing they ever do is good enough, they won't be doing much for long.

At the end of the day, the bottom line is that you don't have control over the way your spouse feels and acts. The only thing you can control is what you decide to do. Therefore, make sure that you're making conscious decisions to take action in a positive way. If you're not happy, don't assume that having more money or more time with your spouse is going to magically improve your life. The truth is that if you truly want to improve marriage intimacy, start by showing your gratitude for what you're already getting. Take the time to acknowledge what's going right in your life, before you start looking for ways that your life is on the wrong track

Author's Bio: 

If you're ready to deepen the level of marriage intimacy in your relationship and discover other great communication and relationship building tips, tools, and strategies than visit us at: www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com or stop by our website at: www.FocusedAttention.com