Now, even though someone can want to achieve something or to improve their life in general, it doesn’t mean that they won’t hold themselves back. But, while they can hold themselves back, this can be something that they are not even aware of.

Consequently, what is going on externally will be seen as the reason why they are unable to make progress. Nonetheless, if they are doing all the ‘right’ things, why would they have a different view?

Ticking All the Boxes

One could be taking action and putting in the effort, with this being something that has taken place for quite some time. There may have even been times when they have taken a big step forward, only to go back to where they were, or close to it, shortly afterwards.

What they may find is that some of the people around them don’t appear to work as hard but are still able to move ahead. Seeing this is likely to be frustrating and make them wonder if these people have something that they themselves don’t have.

Inner World

When it comes to what is taking place inside them, they may find that they typically experience positive feelings and thoughts. Then again, they may that they often feel bad about themselves.

Being positive and staying on the right track is then going to be one big battle and it will require a fair amount of effort. One could believe that they need to do what they can to stay positive, though and not to allow themselves to be negative.

A Different Focus

At this point, if it was put forward to them that what is taking place inside them could be what is holding them back, they might end up dismissing it. This could be seen as something that is not possible, considering that they are generally positive.

Therefore, even if they don’t always feel great, it will be overshadowed by the moments in their life when they do. Based on their current level of self-awareness, it is not going to be possible for them to see that they are undermining themselves.


If they were able to let go of their need to be positive and to connect to what is taking place inside them, they may find that they don’t feel good about themselves. Naturally, if one often feels this way, how they feel shouldn’t be much of a surprise

They may find that they are carrying a lot of toxic shame and that they hate themselves. What this will illustrate is that at the core of their being, they don’t believe that they deserve to achieve anything or to improve their life.

Covered Up

What will have prevented them from realising this would have been the defences that their mind had in place. Furthermore, all the positivity that this part of them created would have kept their true feelings at bay.

But, as they will now see, what was hidden from their conscious mind is having a big impact on their life. This pain would have been kept at bay to protect them; the downside is that this will have separated them from the very information that would play a part in their own liberation.

Many Years Ago

There is the chance that these defences were put in place a very long time ago; a time when they had no other way of dealing with their feelings. This would have taken place automatically.

Defences such as repression and losing touch with their body through armouring themselves, would have stopped them from being overwhelmed. What they went through as a child could be the main reason why they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin and deserving of all that life has to offer.

A Lack of Love

Perhaps this was a time when they didn’t receive the love, care and protection that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. There may have been some kind of abuse and/or neglect.

Either way, what took place would have caused them to disconnect from others and themselves. It wouldn’t have mattered that was took place had nothing to do with them, as they would have taken it personally due to being egocentric.

Moving Forward

For them to truly put what took place behind them, it will be essential for them to face and to work through what is being held in their body. They may find that they are carrying many layers of pain.

This is why this is a process and not something that is likely to happen overnight. It will be important for them to keep in mind that what they went through wasn’t their fault and that they didn’t deserve to be treated badly.


If someone can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, four hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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