Self Sabotage: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Sabotage Their Life?

What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that at least one area of their life is not going as they would like it to go. This could be an area of their life that they have tried to change for a very long time.

But, no matter what they have done, they might not have been able to make a great deal of progress. Or, they could see that there have been moments when they have been able to move forward only to end up back where they started, or close to it.

A Strange Scenario

As a result of this, they could believe that someone or something ‘out there’ is holding them back. Yet, if they have tried to change this area of their life for a while and have not moved forward or moved forward and then back, this is not going to be much of a surprise.

Ultimately, they will want to move forward and will have been playing their part, so what else could they believe? If it was put forward to them that they might be playing a part in why this area of their life is the way that it is, they might dismiss what is said.

One Outlook

After this has been said to them, it could be followed up with them being told that their life could be this way because they have low self-esteem and don’t feel worthy of having what it is that they desire. If they were to think about what has been said, they may find that there is some truth to this.

As the days and weeks go by, they may find that they don’t truly believe that they deserve to move forward in this and perhaps other areas of their life. The key is then going to be for them to raise their self-esteem and develop a sense of worthiness.

Moving Forward

By questioning what they believe and changing how they talk to themselves, they may find that they start to feel different. Over time, they may find that they are not only able to able to move forward but that they don’t slide back to where they were before.

Then again, they may find that this approach doesn’t have much of an effect and even if it does, their life soon goes back to how it was before. If this does take place, they could feel deeply frustrated and well and truly fed up.

Going Deeper, Much Deeper

As they want one thing and are getting another thing altogether, it is likely to show that another part of them wants something else entirely. What this comes down to is that along with their conscious mind, they also have an unconscious mind.

The former is just a small part of them and is fairly weak, whilst the latter is a big part of them and is very strong. Without this understanding in place, the impact that this other part of them is having will be overlooked and it will be normal for what is taking place in their life to be seen as being a consequence of what is taking place externally.

Another Priority

This other part of them will contain repressed pain, rejected parts of themselves and unmet developmental needs, amongst other things. Taking this into account, as they are unable to move forward, it could show that a big part of them is still trying to receive the love that they missed out on during their formative years.

Therefore, not being able to ‘get it together’ will cause them to suffer on one level, but at a deeper level; it can be a way for them to finally be taken care of and looked after. By being in a position where they come across as incapable, they can hope that they will finally be loved.

Pushed Down

If this is the case, it is likely to show that their early years were a time when they were deprived of the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. This would have been a time when they often felt hopeless and helpless.

How they felt, along with their developmental needs, would have automatically been repressed by their brain to allow them to function and keep it together. Yet, although this pain and these needs would have been forgotten about by their conscious mind, their unconscious mind wouldn’t have forgotten.

Re-creating The Past

Furthermore, this part of them, since that stage of their life, will have been causing them to unconsciously recreate situations where they end up in a hopeless and helpless position in the hope that this time it will be different. The trouble is, of course, that they will end up in situations where the same scenario is played out again and they are deprived once more and these unmet developmental needs can no longer be truly met as this stage of their life is over.

One way to look at this would be to say that their unconscious mind wants them to suffer; another way of looking at it would be to say that it is showing them what needs to be healed so that they can become a more integrated and whole human being. For this to happen, though, there has to be an understanding of what is going on and the right steps need to be taken.
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Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.