Immediately improve self esteem with one of the best self esteem exercises I know!

To take responsibility is to change one’s life now. To take responsibility for everything in one’s life is to change one’s life forever. Self responsibility and self esteem go hand in hand. When we do the first, the second improves immediately. This is so important to our growth and overall well being. Even if responsibility is taken for only some aspects of one’s life, the impact on self esteem is still immediate.

In a quiet place and space, grab a blank piece of 8 ½ by 11 inch paper,( lined okay, completely blank fine) a pencil and a hardcover book to place the paper on. Please make sure there no possibilities of being interrupted, such as kids, cell phones, etc.

On this piece of paper, draw a small circle in the middle of the paper, say around 3 inches in diameter, (doesn’t have to be a perfect circle). Now on the outside of this 3 inch circle write down the following anywhere in that blank space:

My Family
My Body
My Money
My Friends
My Intimate relationships
My Job
My Thoughts
My Feelings
My Leisure time
My Traveling
My Health
My Career
My School
My opinions
My judgements of myself and others.

Now we need to ask ourselves the all important question “What do all these things have in common?”

Write down the answer inside the 3 inch circle. Be as honest as possible. There are no wrong or right answers. Take your time.

The only answer that will immediately improve our self esteem is ME. What do all those things have in common?!! ME! Why am I saying this and giving you this answer?!!

When we stop being a victim. When we stop blaming others for our misfortunes. When we stop projecting on others, and take responsibility for ourselves, our self esteem immediately increases and we get our power back. It’s 100% zero, not 50 50!

When our self esteem increases and we get our power back, our focus changes. We now focus on ourselves and what makes us genuinely happy.

Taking responsibility is taking ownership of our lives and everything in it. If this is hard to get, I understand. I had a hard time too. I didn’t initially believe in taking responsibility for anything. I blamed my parents, my teachers, my friends, my girlfriends etc for my unhappiness. I used to rant and rave and point my finger a lot.

I changed when I got the cost of blaming others. The cost of blaming others is I get to have a poor relationship with them. Then I started taking responsibility and everything changed.

Feelings of anger, frustration, plain disbelief, (there must be someone or something to blame, it’s not all me), sadness, fear, hopelessness, etc can come up. That’s okay. Let it! We need to feel however we feel. These are our feelings and they are important.

If we are willing, (there’s that willing word again) even if we don’t entirely believe it’s us, and not them, then self esteem can be improved. It we don’t believe at all in taking responsibility then nothing changes. We will always feel and act like a victim of our circumstances.

To the degree that we take responsibility for ourselves and our lives, is the degree we immediately improve our self esteem. When we know it’s us, our self esteem gets better. We automatically feel better about ourselves. Then the real dance begins and we can move forward into high self esteem.

If you answered ME to this fundamental question, "What do all these things have in common?” CONGRATULATIONS!! Just by acknowledging putting ME in the small circle your self esteem has been improved. Acknowledgement is a powerful tool because you are acknowledging the truth of what’s so.

If you did not answer because you didn’t know, and still playing the blame game to some degree, and if there is some willingness to take responsibility for ourselves and our lives, CONGRATULATIONS. Just by acknowledging your willingness, your self esteem has been improved.

If you did not answer, or came up with an answer other than ME, AND still feel like a complete victim, with no willingness to take responsibility, then nothing I say will make any difference.

Learning to take responsibility for ourselves and everything in our lives, is so essential to our self esteem. We always feel better when we are being responsible rather than irresponsible. Without it, we are incapable of growing and feeling better about who we are and what we are doing in life. With it, life becomes a creation.

Author's Bio: 

I failed miserably at my first business 15 years ago. I ended up bankrupt and depressed. Shortly after, I was diagnosed with cancer and they didn’t think I was going to make it. For some unknown reason, I refused to give up and started healing. They couldn’t believe how much weight I was gaining, after losing 30 lbs before entering the hospital. I wrote 4 positive affirmations every day and listened to guided meditation tapes. I refused to let the Doctors and nurses relate to me as just a body. Even the surgeon and I were on a first name basis.

Looking back I sincerely believe if not for my training in increasing my self esteem, I wouldn’t be here today. I am so thankful and grateful for that experience. It helped to reinforce what really is important in my life. I also learned the value of forgiveness. I made some mistakes. That’s okay. Learn from the mistakes.

Today I am the proud owner of This is what I am most passionate about in my life. I must give back what I have received and I have received a hell of a lot. I spent 15 years, and thousands of dollars and hours, increasing my self esteem.

I am a big believer in knowing who you are, there is nothing else to seek, and following your bliss. I intend to retire at the end of next year from the “day job”, and continue teaching what I know - raising self esteem!!