Have you ever tried achieving a goal, only to meet with such strong inner resistance you eventually gave up trying? You might not be aware that changing a few simple phrases might just prove to be the difference!

Here’s a fact. There are an abundance of courses, workshops, webinars, and online help available to give you clear step-by-step directions on how to set and achieve your goal.

Yet, people still find it difficult, if not impossible to reap the rewards of the personal success they want so badly. Even though they attend course after course and have read numerous books on achieving goals.


Well, it might just come down to a few simple phrases and one in particular I notice cropping up more and more in conversations, with those individuals feeling overwhelmed.

This one simple phrase can paralyze you and stop your progress dead in its tracks. It can leave you defeated, riddled with guilt and resenting the very person you are.

And most everyone uses it every single day without a second thought. We teach it to children and engrained the meaning in their minds. Then we test them to make sure they understand its meaning. And yet, at a subconscious level it can spell our very defeat.

What’s the phrase? “I should”!

Here’s a little bit of background you may have never realized. In every conversation, we constantly give linguistic clues (words and phrases) that illustrate our inner beliefs and patterns. What we consider to be possible and impossible. Furthermore, in the case of the phrase I should, what we mentally obligate ourselves to accomplish and do.

Granted, some uses are just lighthearted, “I should go to the store before the game.” However, some carry much more weight. Some examples are phrases such as, “I should be a better person,” or “I should get a better job.”

The problem is not in the desire for better conditions-that’s a great motivating factor that gets us up off the sofa and moving in a constructive direction. The problem is the words we use when we talk about our goals in our mind.

If we fail to meet our mental obligations we put internal pressure on ourselves that leaves the door open for self-criticism.

We can harbor thoughts of failure. We regret we cannot make good on our promise. We fear what others will think of us. And we resent failing yet again.

Now all we have to do is change one word in this phrase, and a whole new door of opportunity opens for us. Change the word should to could and you move from an obligation, to the freedom of choice. Give yourself some breathing room with the freedom of choosing the direction you follow.

For instance, try this. Say these phrases out loud and notice the difference. First say out loud, “I should be a better person,” now say, “I choose to be a better person.” Feel the difference?

Every phrase you say carries a physical response. You are free to say whatever you want, but you must experience the results of that phrase.

Choose the words and phrases that empower you. Small adjustments can pay big dividends in both health and personal development and business performance.

Author's Bio: 

Visit http://www.yourinfinitesuccess.com Mark S. Kearns, MA, N.H.D. to learn more about self-empowerment and the techniques that will help you attain your goal.

Mark has a Master's degree in counseling, an N.H.D., Doctor of Natural Health. He is a certified Hypnotherapist, Neuro Linguistic Psychology trainer and a licensed and certified Life Success Consultant.