When someone doesn’t feel good about themselves, there are number things that can take place. One of the things they can do is to embrace how they feel, and to allow what is taking place within them to define their life.


When this takes place, one is going to spend a lot of time feeling worthless; this is going to be what is normal for them. And as they spend so much time feeling so low, it could also mean that one will be used to feeling depressed.

Their life is then not going to be seen as something for them to enjoy, it will be something they have to endure. This is not to say that every part of them is willing to accept what is taking place, though.

The Main Part

There could be moments when they think about experiencing life differently, and they might even take action. But due to how they feel about themselves, this might not get them very far.

The part of them that feels worthless is going to stop them from being able to keep going. This is then going to be a phase that soon passes, and they will end up exactly where they were before.

In The Future

There is always the chance that this will all change if they keep going and don’t allow how they feel to define their life. The part of them that is not willing to experience life in this way will get stronger and this can allow them to gradually change their circumstances.

It might take a number of months or even years until they are able to keep the ball moving, so to speak. The next step will then be for them to find a way to change how they feel about themselves.

Another Approach

At the same time, one can end up disconnecting from what is taking place within them, and this is going to have an effect on how they see themselves. So, instead of one feeling as though they are less-than others; they can end up seeing themselves as being more-than others.

One is then no longer down in the dumps, they have been elevated high into the sky. Thus, instead of having an inferiority complex, they can have a superiority complex.

Healthy Shame

This doesn’t mean that one will have set out to be better than others; what it comes down to is that this is just what takes place. When one feels worthless, they are likely to be overwhelmed with shame; whereas when they see themselves as being better than others, they can be completely disconnected from their shame.

The ideal with be for them to be able to experience shame but not to be overwhelmed by it, as this is part of having a conscience. When one experiences too much shame, it will naturally lead to problems.

Out of Control

The emotion that is meant to help them will have taken over, and this is going to make it more or less impossible for them to feel good about themselves. Yet, if one has disconnected from this part of themselves, this is not going to be the case.

But while they will have risen above how they feel about themselves, it can cause them to push other people away. Other people can find it hard to relate to them, and they can see them as being deluded.

Another Outcome

If someone is drawn to them, it could be a sign that they are also out of touch with their own shame, and this is why they have a connection. Or, someone could feel worthless, and this will be what pulls them in.

Still, no matter how someone comes across, they are going to feel the same way about themselves at a deeper level. If one is around someone who is out of touch with how they feel, it will validate how they see themselves, but if they are around someone who isn’t, it will give them someone to project their own issues onto.

One Way

One way for one to disconnect from how they feel is to get into self-development, and there are a number of approaches that they can take. Positive thinking and affirmations are two things that can allow this to occur.

By filling their mind with positive thoughts, it can gradually allow them to lose touch with how they really feel about themselves. But as it is unlikely to deal with how they feel at a deeper level, they will need to continually do this.


Along with this, one can change how they feel through turning themselves into a human doing. Through achieving things, one will be able to feel good about themselves, but they won’t be able to take their foot of the gas.

If they were to take a break from trying to achieve things, how they feel about themselves could soon rise to the surface. Their value will be seen as being based on what they do, as opposed to who they are.


What this shows is how self-development can be another way for one to avoid themselves. One can then believe that they are making progress, but this can be nothing more than an illusion.

If anything, it could be said that they have simply created another layer on top of the baggage that they are already carrying. So, in order for them to embrace their inherent value, it will be important for them to let go of what doesn’t belong to them.


When it comes to why they feel worthless, it can be due to what took place when they were younger. Perhaps this was a time when they were abused and/or neglected by their caregivers.

This would then have caused them to experience trauma and, until this is dealt with, it is not going to matter what they add to their mind or what they achieve externally. If one wants to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -