f someone has a victim mentality, they are unlikely to see themselves as playing a part in how they experience life. Whether something does or doesn’t happen to them is going to be out of their hands.

One will be nothing more than an observer of their life, with life being something that happens to them. Through experiencing life in this way, it is going to be normal for them to be angry and even full of rage.

The Only Option

So as they have no control over their life, the only way their life will change is if the people around them change. Once this takes place, they will be able to have some control over their life.

Thus, regardless of whether these people realise it or not, one’s life will be in their hands. One could wait around until they change or they could try to make them change their behaviour.

A Passive Approach

Waiting around or even trying to change another person’s behaviour is unlikely to fill them with energy, but it will be seen as the only option that they have. The direct approach of changing their own life won’t be an option, so they will have to settle for trying to change others.

Not only may they try to change individuals, they may even try to change the world. What this means is that they may join certain movements that try to change others, with these being movements that are also filled with people that have a victim mentality.

Two Sides

Here, people who see themselves as a victim can try to get their own back on the people that they see as perpetrators. There will then be the oppressed on one side, with their being the oppressors on the other.

This will be something that is completely black and white; there will be no other way of seeing it. As a result of having this outlook, one may see themselves as being a morally superior human being.

A Good Person

Unlike the people who are making their life a misery, one can see themselves as someone who is living in the right way. They will then be living a miserable existence, but at least they won’t be harming others.

And if they are part of a group, this is likely to be an outlook the most of the other people have. The trouble here is that if they are surrounded by people that also have similar experience and the same outlook as they do, it is going to be a lot harder for them to change their life.


Ultimately, in order for them transform their life, they will need to spend less time focusing on what is taking place externally and more time on what is taking place internally. This will allow them to see how their inner world is influencing their outer world.

In other words, they will need to develop self-awareness as this will most likely be what frees them from the invisible prison that they live in. This will be what allows them to see that they are not merely an observer of their reality.

Two Parts

Not only will their five senses allow them to experience life, but what they experience will be influenced by what is taking place inside them. Without self-awareness, however, one will only be aware of the first part.

It is then going to be as if they are ordering food that they don’t want and then complain when they get it. For them to get the ‘food’ that they want, they will need to change what they are ordering.

Waking Up

So as they are not aware of the part that they are playing when it comes to how they experience reality, it is to be expected that they would feel like a victim. The reason that they haven’t developed self-awareness may be because of what took place during their early years.

Perhaps this was a time when they experienced a lot of trauma, thereby stopping their brain from developing in the right way. Even if this is the case, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything that they can do to develop it.

One Option

What can help them to develop a better connection with their inner world is mediation and spending time in nature. By meditating a few times a week, one can start to notice what is taking place inside them and their brain can gradually change in the process

This is something that will require patience and discipline but it can be what allows them to turn the light on and to see that they are not a powerless victim. They will start to become aware of the thoughts, emotions and feelings that they have, and how these things influence what they see and experience.

A Deeper Level

Another part of this will be for them to look into what they believe and what is taking place in their unconscious mind. What they will gradually come to see is that it is not just what is taking place in their conscious mind that affects their life

There will also be what is taking place in their unconscious mind or body. When it comes to what is taking place in their body, this will typically relate to the parts of themselves that they have disconnected from due to how painful they are.


If one does find that they are carrying a lot of pain in their body, they may need to reach out for external support. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, they will be able to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.