Self-Activation: Can Childhood Trauma Stop Someone From Being Able To Activate Themselves?

If someone was to hear the term “self-activation”, they could wonder what it actually means. One way to understand this would be for them to imagine that they have a vacuum cleaner that can either be pushed around a room or it can go around a room by itself.
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When it is being pushed around a room, it is not asserting itself; whereas when it is going around a room without being pushed, it is asserting itself. It is being directed by an external force or it is being directed by an inner force.

The Connection

In the same way, someone can do something because another person has told them to or they can do something because they want to. When the former takes place, they won’t be expressing their true-self, and, when the latter takes place, they will be.

To go one step further, someone can be in a position where most, if not all, of what they do is a consequence of what other people want them to do. Alternatively, most, if not all, of what they do can be fuelled by their own need to do it.

The ideal

When someone is in tune with their true-self and this part of them generally drives their behaviour, they will have activated themselves. They will look like an individual and they will act like one.

By having a good connection to themselves and the ability to express themselves, they won’t look to other people to tell them what to do and to get them moving. This will allow them to live a life that is worth living.

Inner Fuel

A key part of what will allow them to express themselves will be the fire that is inside them. This will give them the power that they need to have an idea or a need and then turn this idea into a reality or fulfil a need.

Most likely, this power will be coming from their body, not their mind; it will be a primal part of them that spurs them into action. One way of looking at this energy would be to call it their aggression/or fight instinct, and if this part of them is fully integrated, they won’t come across as aggressive.

Another Reality

When someone is not in tune with their true-self or they are but this part of them doesn’t drive their behaviour, they won’t have activated themselves. This is not to say that they will never assert themselves.

What it means is that this is likely to be the exception as opposed to the rule. As a result of this, they will look like an individual but they will act more like an extension of others.

External Force

In general, they will need other people to say or do something before they are able to take action. After being given permission or being encouraged to do something, they can end up taking the next step.

From the outside, then, it can seem as though they have activated themselves, but this won’t actually be the case. In reality, and just like when a vacuum cleaner is being pushed around, they will be being directed by others.

Disconnected

By being out of touch with their own feelings or simply not paying attention to them, they will be reliant on others for guidance. What will also play a part in this is that they are likely to be estranged from their aggression/fight instinct.

Not being connected to their fire, even if they are connected to their feelings, will prevent them from being able to assert themselves. They will need another person to get them moving.

Another Driver

Due to this, they may have the tendency to be motivated by fear. So, they could typically behave in a certain way as they fear that not behaving in this way will cause them to lose the approval and acceptance of others.

If one was able to take a step back and see what is going on, they could find that they have been this way for a very long time. They could find it strange that they rarely express themselves and when they do something, it is often what other people want them to do or what they think they want them to do.

A Closer Look

What this may illustrate is that they had to disconnect from their true-self very early on and to lose touch with their aggression/fight instinct in the process. This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

They wouldn’t have felt safe enough to be in their body and to express themselves. The outcome of this is that they won’t have access to their true-self or to the part of them that would allow them to fully activate themselves, and, even if do have moments when they are in tune with themselves, expressing themselves will, unconsciously if not consciously, be seen as a threat to their survival and, therefore, too much of a risk.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

During this time, one will be building a better connection with themselves and reintegrating their aggression/fight instinct. As this takes place, they will start to feel comfortable expressing themselves.