One thing that social media has done is made it easy for someone to focus on themselves. So regardless of if it relates to how their pictures look, how people respond to what they share or how many friends they have, it is all going to be about them.

In the past someone would have only have had to worry about how they looked when they were around others, but now they can worry about how they look online. Not being around others is then not going to be necessary in order for them to worry about how they look.

One Focus

Through spending so much time thinking about themselves and how they come across, they are likely to have less time available to be there for others. It could be as if they are only on this planet to take care of their own needs.

When they are there for others, it might be hard for them to put their own needs to one side and to fully show up. This could be something that will stand out to some people, with one appearing to be somewhere else a lot of the time.

A Different Scenario

However, even if one is not consumed by how they look online and how people respond to them, for instance, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to serve others. Instead, their point of focus could be their own problems.

Regardless of what their problems are, their problems will be seen as being more important than anything else. As a result of this, they could spend a lot of time telling other people about their problems.

Endless Drama

Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will want to do anything about what they are going through. Living in this way may have become part of their identity, meaning that they wouldn’t know who they were if their life was different.

Therefore, if they do solve one thing it will only be a matter of time before there is something else that will consume their attention. Their life may have been this way for many, many years.


If someone like does have a job, it might not be possible for them to fully show up. The reason for this is that their mind will be consumed by what is taking place in their own life.

This could mean that they often make mistakes or the service that they provide might not always be as good as it could be. But then if one is rarely present, due to how caught up they are with their own life, this is to be expected.

A Painful Existence

If someone can relate to the first example, it can be normal for them to experience a fair amount of fear and anxiety. Ultimately, their need to look a certain way and for others to give them positive feedback will weigh them down.

On the other hand, if someone can relate to the second example, it can be normal for them to feel helpless and overwhelmed. It will be like there is a conveyor belt that brings them one problem after another, and this is going to be a lot for them to handle.

Watering the Weeds

One way to look at each of these examples would be to say that the reason why their life is this way is because they are using their energy in the wrong way. Regardless of whether they are focused on how they look or on their own problems, most of their energy is going to be directed towards themselves.

Therefore, by sending so much of their energy to their own problems, their problems are only going to get worse. This comes down to the fact that what one focuses on is what is likely to grow.


Taking this into account, what one can do to change their life is to spend less time focusing on themselves. This can have a positive effect on their mental and emotional health and it can make it easier for them to solve their problems.

Through getting out of their own way and extending themselves to others, they won’t have as much time to focus on how they look or their problems. Being there for others can also allow them to have a more balanced perspective.

A mountain out of a mole hill

For example, if one was to spend a few days thinking about how bad something is, it is not going to be a surprise if they feel weighed down. Yet, if they were to simply acknowledge something and then directed their attention to back to serving others, they are not going to build it up in their mind.

This will stop whatever it is from becoming an all-encompassing problem. The alternative would be to for them to give all their energy to it, which would be like watering something that one doesn’t want to grow.


With this in mind, it is easy to see how someone’s mental and emotional health can suffer if they are too caught up with their own life. The antidote to this will be for someone to look into what they can do to serve others.

This doesn’t mean that they will need to neglect their own needs to do this; what it means is that they won’t be so caught up in their own life that they are unable to be there for others. At the same time, there can be times when they won’t be able to be there for others but this will be different to always being this way.

If one finds that it is hard for them to be there for others, due to how caught up they are with their own issues, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, one hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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