What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they often feel down and low. For most of their life, this may have been something that they have typically been able to cover up.

Now, though, it could be a lot harder for them to do this and this might make them wonder what is going on. What could enter their mind is that they suffer from depression and there is then something wrong with them.

Looking Back

When it comes to what they have done to avoid themselves, they might have spent a lot of time in doing mode. So, practically always being on the go will have made it easier for them to keep what is going on for them at bay.

Along with this, they might have often consumed different things. Thanks to this, they wouldn’t have been aware of what was really going on for them and would have been able to carry on as normal.

A Trigger

What may have played a part in them no longer being able to cover up how they feel is a loss of some kind. They might have experienced a breakup, lost a loved one or had a pet that has passed on.

Either way, this might have weakened their defences and caused them to come face to face with what they have been able to run away from for so long. What is currently going on will then have added more weight to the weight that they are already carrying.

A Sense of Despair

Due to how low they now feel, they might wonder if they will ever be able to get out of the hole that they are in. Getting out of bed could be tough and it could be hard for them to perform at their best when they are at work.

A number of the things that they enjoyed doing before might also no longer interest them. They might then have gone from one extreme to the other, being super driven at one point to having no oomph at another.

Going Deeper

If they were able to connect with how they feel, what they might soon come to see is that they feel very sad. Moreover, in addition to the sadness that they feel after experiencing a loss, that’s if they have, they could find that there is additional sadness.

At this point, it could be as though they don’t just feel sad but they are made of sadness; that’s how sad they could feel. When they are depressed, then, it will show that they are in a shut down state, and, when they are not in this state, they will be able to access how they really feel.

What’s going on?

If they have felt low for most of their life, it could show that their early years were a time when they were deprived of the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. They may have been brought up by parents that were emotionally unavailable and often left them.

This would then have been a period of their life that was filled with loss and a time when they would have experienced a lot of sadness as a result. As they were powerless and totally dependent, they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about what was going on.

The Outcome

To handle the pain of not being loved, their brain would have repressed how they felt and they would have gradually gone into a shut down state. This would have allowed them to keep it together and function.

The downside is that they would have lost touch with their true self and created a disconnected false self in the process. The years would then have passed but the pain they experienced would have stayed locked inside them.

A Build Up

But, after more layers of pain accumulated inside them, it would have gotten harder and harder for their defences to stay in place. They will now have the opportunity to truly put the past behind them.

For this to take place, they are going to need to face and work through the pain that they were unable to handle all those years ago. This will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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