The differences between men and women and lack of quality, in depth information about the opposite sex is the root of much frustration and heartbreak.
It's my passion and biggest mission in life to get you in great shape and start having great relationships. It isn't very hard to accomplish this once you know some basics. Today, we're focusing on Communication.

You would think with all our technological advances and all the other ways the world is moving forward that it would be easy for women and men to have equally advanced communication skills. But this is SO not the case, right?

Sure, when you're talking to someone who is the same sex as you it's a piece of cake. As soon as it's the opposite sex, everything seems to fall apart. You thought you were clear about what you said to your date, boyfriend/girlfriend so why do they get so upset?

There are 2 simple reasons for this.

1) Women speak in a Secret Language

2) Men keep missing this Secret Language

Here's a simple example to illustrate this...

Jennifer's walking with her boyfriend David along the street and notices a beautiful leather jacket in the store window. Jennifer suddenly comments to David "Wow, it's really cold out". David turns to her and agrees "Yeah, hard to believe for this time of year". Jennifer looks down, sighs heavily and continues walking. David thinks it's kinda weird that the cold weather would make Jennifer sad and starts to look for the nearest Starbuck's so he can get her a coffee to warm up, hoping that will make her happy.

If you're a woman reading this, you might be laughing. If you're a man, you're probably trying to figure out my point. Let me explain....

When Judy commented on the weather, what she was really saying is "What a beautiful jacket, let's go inside so I can try it on!" Now men, please don't get mad at women for doing this. There's actually some pretty unfortunate reasons why women don't feel powerful enough (even in this day and age) to just come right out and tell you what they need. That kind of information is reserved for my workshops, but for our purpose here today, let me introduce you to the world of Hints & Innuendos.

Hints & Innuendos are a safe way for women to express to men that they have an interest in something. For men, understanding this secret language can be extremely difficult, but it's one of the most valuable skills worth developing if you are interested in making the women in your life feel happy around you.

For women, I know you don't do this intentionally and I also know that you would LOVE men to know what you need, want and desire. However, the only way they will know this is if you tell them. If you've been on my list for awhile and still think men will one day be able to read your mind, I want to let you know nothing has changed and men will never have this ability - ever.

So how can YOU start to bridge the communication gap in your own world starting today?

Below is an exercise each gender can practice to start amping up your communication skills right away.

Exercise for Women

Start noticing when you're about to use your Secret Language (hint/ innuendo) and turn it into a specific request instead. For example, you and a male co-worker are just about to go for lunch and he can't decide on where to go. Instead of saying "I heard there's a new Joey's that's opened up", tell him instead "Let's go to Joey's!". It's subtle, but helps a man hear you much easier. It leaves no question about what you want.

Exercise for Men

It’s time for you to really pay attention to what women are saying when they talk. When a woman mentions a new restaurant, lingerie store, the title of a movie trailer that looked good etc... know that she is speaking her Secret Language. She is communicating something that she wants! Once you hear a hint or innuendo, start to get comfortable acting on it. For example, simply turn it into a question. It's as easy as saying "Would you like to see/ go to/ have dinner at _____________?" (fill in the blank).

Ok, you found this tip helpful but you’ve got more questions about women. Then fill out an application to have a complimentary coaching session with me. Women are VERY complicated (I know this because I am one!) so let’s get to the bottom of where you’re stuck and create a game plan. Grab your application HERE and send back to

Author's Bio: 

Kim Sarrasin is a relationship expert, mentor and speaker who helps single men and women "Solve the mystery of the opposite sex". Want to learn more about simple ways to relate with the opposite sex, have more fun dating and discover how you can get all you're needs met? Then check out her website,, to find out more about her Dating & Relating Weekend Workshop and to sign up for her FREE audio mini-workshop "5 Essential Steps For Dating Success."