Networking can connect you with the person you want to be with better than any other method. So use your resources. You know people that know people who can get you to whom you want to be with. However you have to stop and think about this for a minute because you’re not used to using these contacts for this task. Once you start to think about who you know, you’ll be amazed at how many resources you have.

Now phone someone you know and ask for help rather than trying to make introductions by yourself. Reach out and your network will rally to making connections to the right people smooth and welcomed. Ask and you shall receive. Don’t ask for introductions and you won’t get them.Nobody is going to chase you down the hallway shouting, “Wait, wait, I want to help you.”

The beauty of having your network help you is that you can get to the type of person you want to meet because you can define exactly what you’re looking for. The more specific your description is, the better the fit to your desires. Leave your description vague and you’ll get some randoms. Most importantly, the people you get introduced to come with a built-in recommendation. Now how good is that?

Common Situation - Being Out There

Most people suffer the miss match and futility of striking up relationships with people they don’t know because they hate to ask people they do know for help.

Resulting Problem – Frustration, Heart Ache, Anger and a Waste of Emotions

People get nowhere slowly in bars and coffee houses. Even worse, these constant disappointments encourage them to stop looking for new friends and relationships. As a result they isolate themselves which makes them feel worse. They become desperate which prompts them to do bar scenes again, and the downward depression cycle continues.

So here are some tips to help you find your dream person or people.

Prepare Yourself

1. Identify and write down the type of person you’d like to meet. Pretend you’re doing an application for You might try filling out their applications just to get your thoughts and desires clear to you. Don’t try doing this in your head.

2. Now, visualize that person and ask yourself, “Who do I know that mingles with this type of person or people?” For example, if you wanted to meet someone professional; lawyer, doctor, business person, who do you know that is involved with legal matters, healthcare, or works in an office building. Keep asking yourself, and sooner than later an answer will come. Sleep on it and you’ll have ideas in the morning.

I can guarantee if you don’t blatantly ask yourself, the ideas won’t come to you. Write these names down because just this act alone will generate more ideas. Try it and you’ll be amazed.

3. Ask others for help! Get over you’re inhibitions. Look to people at work, in your social groups, friends and acquaintances you run into. You don’t have to shout it from the roof top. You can be discrete. For example; in conversations when there’s a reference to who you’re hanging out with, or what you’re doing, jokingly insert you’re looking to meet someone….

Call friends and talk about what you talk about and at some point transition into “Can you help me?” Friends are always willing to help friends, but they have to be asked. Don’t assume they know you’re looking and will tell you if they run into someone. You what them to focus their minds and eyes into where they live socialize and work. Don’t expect them to keep an eye out.

4. Be specific about the person you want to meet, when asking for help. For example do you know people who like biking on weekends in the local mountains – if that’s what you like. Or for a companion, you’d like to meet some doctor or lawyer or professional, that’s less than 50 and not married.

5. Ask your contact to make your introduction – either by phone or in person, not email. If you ask they will probably do it. This will avoid any embarrassing conflicts and get the wheels in motion. Assure your contact that you won’t feel put-out or rejected if the other party isn’t interested. You want to be sure there is desire on both sides. If appropriate, ask your contact to attend your first get together. Most importantly, once your contact gets going, you’ve got to acknowledge their efforts either with a “let’s move forward” or “no I don’t think so”. Otherwise your friend will get really annoyed if you don’t follow-up on what she’s suggested.

6. Stop bar hopping to meet people. Meet your friends at a bar and have fun. But get them to introduce you to the type of people you want to meet. If you’re all in the same boat, have a networking party and have all your friends invite the people they know and people those people know that fit your descriptions. Don’t just invite the usual suspects or those that will do you no good.

7. Never go into any get-togethers or social events with friends, associates and/or work people without focus. That is a pre thought-out plan. Your focus is that you want to meet certain types of people or a person. Who’s going to be there? Do some calling around. Who will you use to introduce you? What will you say? You are not going someplace to see who shows-up or see what happens. Who will you purposely run into / seek-out who can help you meet who you want to meet? Again practice what you’ll say when you bump together? Prepare yourself before you make your entrance. Preparation will also boost your confidence tremendously. As Louis Pasture said, “Chance favors the prepared mind.”

Now Take It to the Streets

1. Describe your target person / people. Who can you call to network you or give you useful information? Check with friends, business associates, family members, and those you know. Start with your best friend. If you’re serious, you’ve got to make it a mission.

2. What will you say (write the exact words.) “Can you help me? I’d like to meet ….” Be as specific as possible about who, or what type of person you want to meet. Make sure you tell your friend what you what him or her to say to this person.

3. Finally, practice saying what you’ll say to your friend it in front of a mirror until you feel comfortable and confident. Then make the first call. Don’t say you’ve already done this. Do it again, but now with focus and definition.

The moral here is that if you want something badly enough, you have to find people you know who either know or know people and are willing to introduce you to your type of person or people. Ask and be specific and you’ll get what you ask for. Wait around or bar hop and you’ll be doing that for a long time. As my dad use to say, “Thinks don’t happen. You have to make them happen.”

Author's Bio: 

Sam Manfer is the leading expert on selling to CEO’s and other influential people – doctors, gov’t officials, etc. Sam is a sales strategist, entertaining key note speaker and author of TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER$, The Complete Guide to C-Level Selling. That is, getting to and influencing top level decision-makers. Sam makes it easy for any sales person to generate quality leads, and become a 70% closer. Grab your FREE E-Books, Videos, Articles and other Advanced Sales Training Tips at

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