If one was to think about the people who they spend time with, they may find that they feel comfortable in their presence. What this could show is that these people accept them as they are.


There is then going to be no reason for one to feel as though they need to put on an act. As a result of this, one is going to feel good when they are around them, and they will feel good when their time together comes to an end.

To have these kinds of people in their life is naturally going to have a positive effect on their wellbeing. The feedback that they get from them will nourish their self-esteem, and it will then be a lot easier for them to achieve their goals.

The Right Nutrients

Therefore, in the same way that eating the right food will allow one’s body to function in the right way, being around the right people will make it easier for them to be at their best. If, on the other hand, one was their own island, it wouldn’t matter who they had around them.

But as one is an interdependent human being, this is not something that can be overlooked. When it comes to how one sees themselves, the people they spend time will play a big part.

An Important Area

However, even though the people that one surrounds themselves with play a big part in their life, it doesn’t mean that this is something that receives the attention it deserves. For example, it is not common for the mainstream media to talk about how important it is to eat the right food.

What this source is unlikely to talk about is how important it is to spend time around the right people. If one was to spend time around the wrong people, it might not matter what they eat.


When one has people around them who accept them, this could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. If they were to come cross someone who doesn’t experience life in this way, they might wonder what is going on.

If they know them, they could ask them why they don’t find people who will treat them better. The other person could listen to what they have to say, or it could end up going over their head.

The Difference

One way of looking at this would be to say that one person is lucky and the other is unlucky. But while this might seem like an accurate assessment, there is likely to be a lot more to it.

When one has people around them who accept them as they are, it is going to show that one values themselves. Thus, when one is surrounded by people who undermine them, it is going to show that one doesn’t value themselves.


On one level, being around these kinds of people is going to make them feel bad, but at a deeper level, this will be what feels comfortable. One might believe that there is nothing they can do to change this area of their life.

If they were to think about how long their life has been this way, they may find that they can’t remember when it was different. What this could show is that their life has more or less always been this way.

Worn Down

When one is around these people, they could find that they don’t get the support that they need. This could be a time when one will be criticised in some way, and this could relate to a number of different areas of their life.

Perhaps they will be told that they need to change their appearance, or the other person could focus on their behaviour. Even so, this is not to say that one will always be undermined in a direct manner.

The Other Side

There could be moments when this will take place indirectly, and it might take a while for one to work out what has happened. Either way, they are not going to feel good in their presence, and they could feel even worse when their time together comes to an end.

Through having these people in their life, it will have a negative effect on their mental and emotional wellbeing. And as they feel so low, they might not have the strength to do anything about their life.

Two Sides

Yet in order for someone to treat them in this way, it is likely to show that they also have their own issues. And even if someone comes across as though they have it all together, it doesn’t mean that this is the case.

If someone comes across as insecure, it can show that they are generally in touch with how they feel; whereas if someone comes across as though they have it all together, it can show that they are generally out of touch with how they feel. Either way, they can both feel worthless at a deeper level.


So, when someone tries to change other people, it can be a way for them to feel better about themselves. It could be said that one will be projecting their issues onto others, and this is why they feel the need to change them.

But unless they deal with what is taking place within them, they will continue to believe that other people are the problem. Clearly, changing others won’t change what is taking place within them, and this is why they will continue to behave in the same way.


The only way they will be able to accept others is if they are able to accept themselves. Once they deal with what is taking place within them and begin to value themselves, there will be no reason for them to behave in this way.

So regardless of whether one spends time with people who try to change them, or if they try to change others they will need to heal themselves. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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