Relationship Advice – From Me to You! You’re Welcome

What do I do when the man I’m in love with doesn't want to be with me?

You move on. If the man you are in love does not want to be with you the only thing to do is to get on with your life. One of two things will happen. He will realize what he is missing, get his act together and come back to you or you will allow yourself to be available to meet the man that will love you the way you deserve to be loved. For some reason we women like to hold on until the bitter end to a man that was never truly worthy of us in the first place. Don’t waste time on a man that is not willing to be the man you need in your life. A loving relationship does not consist of him dodging your phone calls, showing up at booty call hours only, him seeing other women, any type of abusive behavior, or treating you less than a queen. You may say the heart wants what the heart wants, but sometimes the heart is stupid and you better go with your mind. It’s better to watch his actions than his words. Talk is cheap, but actions speak a thousand words. His words and actions should line up, not contradict each other. Don’t get caught up in a “Faux Relationship.”

How can I get my baby daddy to take care of the kids and spend time with them?

You can’t. Your baby daddy is a grown man. There is nothing you can do to make a grown man do anything he doesn't want to do. If your baby daddy is not taking care of the kids or coming to see them then what can you really do about it. You can cuss him out every opportunity get and dog him to all his friends and relatives, but I've never seen that bring him around more. You can take him to child support and threaten to not let him see the kids, but I've never seen that work either. At the end of the day you have kids to take care of and that’s where your focus should be. Don’t talk negative to or around the kids about their father because that only builds resentment. Trust me that the kids are smart enough to figure out on their own if their father is no good. When he does decide to show up with some money or to spend some time be gracious about it. Maybe if he feels like he is not walking into a hostile situation he will do more and come around more. Men allow their egos to rule their thinking. If they don’t have the means to support their children they tend to not come around because they feel inadequate. Your harsh words don’t help the situation. You picked him, so now you got to deal with him. Be the best mother you can be and hold it down. You’re blessing is on its way.

My boyfriend is cheating on me. What should I do?

I hate stupid questions. Forgive me. This is a question with an answer that will never be appreciated until way way later if ever. The simple answer is, leave him. You deserve better. Why go through all the heartache and pain of not being appreciated and allowing yourself to be susceptible to an STD? If your man is cheating on you, 9 times out of 10 he will continue to cheat on you. Now he knows he can get away with it and if caught he knows how to work his way back in. You set the tone the first time he cheated that it was okay because you took him back or looked the other way. Which leads me to believe you may have self esteem issues, daddy issues, abandonment issues, or like the drama. You may truly love him, but do you love him more than you love yourself? How that happen? When did you become less important? When you have vested years, money and babies into a relationship and he cheats then it becomes harder to leave. You began to make excuses like, “I’m too old to start over” or “Who would want me with all this baggage?” You are never too old to start anything and there is always somebody who wants you and will help you carry your baggage. At the end of the day the only person you have control over is yourself. You have to make the decision of what you want. Life is too short to be miserable. When you decide to walk away you can do so knowing you gave your all and he didn't appreciate it so pat yourself on the back and keep it moving. It’s always easier said than done. What it boils down to is that only you know when you have had enough. No one can tell you when you will be ready to move on, if ever. However, if you decide to stay no one wants to continue to listen to you cry about how bad he is treating you when you have the power to change your situation.

Unfortunately, nothing is every black and white. There is no blanket answer for any of the questions because there are always varying circumstances and situations. What works for one person may not work for another. Depending on maturity levels, mindsets, beliefs, morals, and other extenuating factors the answers given may not work. When it’s all said and done YOU are ultimately in control of you. When you make your decision to move on or walk away you’ll discover you were stronger than you thought you were and may find yourself happier as well.