There are two hefty yet hidden forces in our lives, two elephants in the room that many people don’t see or talk about, yet they affect us in a mammoth way. The discovery of these elephants has hugely transformed my life.

The first elephant is the jumbo awareness that misery is addictive and craves more of itself. When we’re embroiled in drama it stimulates the powerfully addictive body drugs adrenaline and dopamine. I was once one of those people who always had some kind of drama happening in my life, I had ongoing ‘poor me’ stories of victimhood and how someone had done me wrong. Drama becomes not only a habit but a fix, like heroin to a junkie. I was often in a funk and finally realized that it was time to face the elephant in the room: I was a Funk Junkie! Once I faced that massive truth I was ready to face the other elephant in the room, what I call The Magical Elephant.

The Magical Elephant is the awareness that things don’t happen TO me, they happen BY me. It’s recognizing that like attracts like and we create what we’re focused on (also known as The Law of Attraction). When I was focused on being a victim that’s what I attracted - I was a drama magnet. When I started focusing on positive possibilities, that’s what I attracted - I became a blessings magnet. Life is magical like that!

Here's an example from my life of the transformative power of recognizing these two elephants: I spent a good part of my life stuck in the mire of misery about feeling alone in the world…until I had a life-changing epiphany during my first week of dating Tom (my husband-to-be) fifteen years ago. We were massaging each other’s feet, (my very favorite thing!) and I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have this man in my life on a permanent basis.” Just then a Bonnie Rait song began playing on the radio and I was singing along with it, “I can’t make you love me if you don’t.” That song activated the neural pathways of my old familiar story that said, “I will always be alone. He won’t want me. I can’t have this.” I began slipping into the sweet melancholy of that story, pulled by the addictive lure of deep sorrow. But then, in a sudden splash of invigorating awareness, I stopped myself and thought, “Wait a minute - why can't I have this? It's just habit programming. I'm just as lovable as the next person. I can have this! I want this!”

I recognized the addictive lure of my sad story and spotting that elephant helped me turn towards the Magical Elephant in the room, the realization that I can create what I want - I can believe in my lovability and therefore attract love. And that’s exactly what happened. I consciously focused on all the ways I was lovable, I cultivated the feeling of being loved, I vibrated love AND I created it in my life! By recognizing those two elephants I was able to free myself from my addictive sad story and manifest the man of my dreams (and receive regular amazing foot massages from him)!

How about you? Are you aware of these elephants in the room? If so it can transform your life - like Dumbo the flying elephant, you can soar!

Author's Bio: 

Janet Jacobsen is the author of the book Oh No, Not Another ‘Growth’ Opportunity! An Inspirational Cancer Journey With Humor, Heart, and Healing. To read more of Janet’s FREE, uplifting, entertaining, and informative essays, as well as the first 4 chapters of her book, go to