It has been said that in order for someone to be able to give, they will need to be able to receive. With this in mind, being able to receive is the first part and being able to give is the second part.

Right at the Beginning

Another way of understanding this would be for one to go back to what took place during the start of their life. This would have been a time when they were unable to do anything for anyone.

Yet, through being given the love, nurturance and support that they needed, amongst other things, they would have gradually been able to give something back. This was then a time when their cup was being filled up, so to speak.

It Goes On

It doesn’t end there though, as one will need to receive throughout their life or they won’t be able to function. For example, if one didn’t eat anything and they didn’t sleep, they wouldn’t be able to do anything.

When one is eating, they are receiving the nutrition’s that they need and, when they are sleeping, their body is recharging. By getting enough to eat and getting the sleep that they need, they will be able to contribute to the world.

Another Component

What will also be important will be for their emotional needs to be met, or it will be a lot harder for them to be at their best. They will still be able to function, but it would be a very empty existence.

This will relate to physical and emotional intimacy; being able to accept physical and emotional support from others. So, being held, expressing their sexual side, and opening up to the right people about how they feel and what they have been going through, for instance.

The Norm

If one was to think about their life, they may find that it is normal for them to have their needs met. Due to this, they may find that they don’t have trouble giving their time and energy to others, with this allowing them to make a difference.

Still, this doesn’t mean that there haven’t been moments in their life when they have felt as though they were running on empty; what it means is that this won’t be something they are accustomed to. Through experiencing life in this way, it will show that they feel comfortable with their own needs.

The Key

How they behave has then got a lot to do with what is taking place within them and has very little to do with what is taking place externally. If they didn’t feel comfortable with their own needs and as though it was safe for them to fulfil them, their life would be very different.

This is not to say that feeling good about themselves and valuing who they are is not important. There is no doubt how important this is, but it is not the most important part of the equation.

A Different Reality

When one doesn’t experience life in this way, they may find that they are used to giving their time and energy to the world, but that very little comes back to them. This is naturally going to be incredibly frustrating.

In addition to this, they could often end up feeling powerless, hopeless and as though they have no control. This could mean that there will be times when one will give up and lose the will to live.


One is going to believe that they need to give to be able to receive, which will make it hard for them to understand why their life is this way. It is not going to be a surprise for them to have this belief, as this outlook is common in today’s world.

If they continue to behave in the same way and don’t take a deeper look into what is going on, their life is likely to get even worse. This person might even have high self-esteem, but this won’t have much of an impact on how they are experiencing life.

Another Experience

Conversely, one could be only too aware of how they can’t let anything into their life, meaning that this won’t be something that causes them to feel confused. What could baffle them is why they are this way.

They may find that they only feel comfortable when they are at a distance from life, and that they don’t want anyone or anything getting to close to them. One might then have enough to eat (that’s if being this way doesn’t affect their ability to use the food that they consume) and they may get enough sleep (that’s if they can relax enough to settle down), but they could feel as though they are running on empty when it comes to other areas of their life.

What’s going on?

Regardless of whether one is aware of the fact that they can’t let anything, it is going to cause them to suffer; there is no doubt about it. What this is likely to show is that keeping life at a distance is what feels safe at a deeper level.

Their body then feels comfortable with keeping just about everything at bay but this is going against their need to receive. Clearly, they are experiencing inner conflict and, if this doesn’t change, their life is only going to get worse.

Back In Time

There may have been a time in their life when they felt overwhelmed, and this could have happened on more than one occasion. This may relate to what has happened in their adult years or it could go back to their younger years.

If it does back to their early years, this could show that they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. These experiences would have been too much for them to handle, thereby causing them to associating receiving with something that would end their life.


No matter how long someone has experienced life in this way for, it doesn’t mean that their life has to stay this way. With the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance, they can change.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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